


Kissaten

by mottochikai



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Everyone Is Gay, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-07-18 10:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16116704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mottochikai/pseuds/mottochikai
Summary: A college AU where Kuroo works at a cafe and has never met Kenma.There's clumsy gayness and discussion of mental illness weaved in throughout.This is my first work that I'm publishing to this site. I'm also going though and re-editing the chapters right now, so what you see might not be the final result.Thanks for giving this a peep if you do.





	1. kissaten

Coffee shops quickly lose their charm when you’re stuck working in them all the time. What was originally perceived to be ‘rustic’ and ‘cozy’ quickly turns bleak and boring when you work there for long enough. Even though his job sucked, the cafe was considered somewhat ‘stylish’ and it was located right near the college campus, so there were lots of people within his age group stopping in. The only redeeming factor for Kuroo, as he toiled his afternoons away after class, were the very attractive people that sometimes stopped by for a quick coffee. It somewhat brightened his day when a cute girl would shyly ask him to explain what some of the things on the menu are, or if someone seemed embarrassed about their complicated order, things like that. There were a few regulars, and as the new academic year was starting up, Kuroo noticed a few new faces. He’d come to work after his last class, and right as he began to set up, a new person came in.  
He looked tired and somewhat sad, hauling a backpack that looked very heavy. It was pretty clear that he was a first year, he still had the lanyard that was handed out for the first years on his neck instead of tucked into his pocket. By the second year, most people think it’s pretty lame to have a lanyard on your neck. However, ‘firsties,’ lacking knowledge of the social norms on campus, don’t realize how embarrassed they should feel.  
The firstie puts his finger to his chin and scans the menu. He’s actually really adorable, Kuroo thinks, but he’s arrived too late to take the order. His coworker helps him out and he gets an apple pie, and a small black coffee. Kuroo decides to get his apron on right away, and he warms up the apple ‘pie,’ (it’s really just some puff pastry that has apple filling in it.)  
He gets a better look at the first year as he waits for the pastry to warm up. It’s hard not to notice him, his bleached hair makes him stand out, it seems almost delinquent. He had a little charm from a videogame that Kuroo recognized hanging off his backpack. Normally he doesn’t get caught off guard by customers like this, and it makes Kuroo worried that he might have a crush on yet another stranger that he'd never see again.  
“Can I get your name?” The coworker asks, even though this guy is the only person here. It's just a formality at this point, something that's expected.  
He clears his throat awkwardly before speaking, “Kozume.” He can hardly be heard over the oven’s whirring.  
Kuroo takes the pie out of the oven with a pair of tongs, but as he’s trying to put it in the little baggy it falls out onto the floor. “Sorry...” He mutters, before grabbing another one to put in the oven. As he cleans up, he notices that this Kozume looks nervous. Maybe he’s pressed for time? “I’m really sorry about that,” Kuroo repeats.  
Kozume looks even more flustered now, his face gets a little red, “It’s okay,” He mutters out, but it comes out sounding more like a question than a reassurance. A few awkward moments pass and he coughs into his hand.  
On his second attempt, Kuroo manages to get the pie in the bag, and he hands it over the counter. It’s then that he realizes how short this person is. At least a head shorter than Kuroo himself. He pauses as he’s handing over the pie, their fingers brushed together. This seems to send the firstie over the edge and he rushes out of the store, holding his coffee and his pie as he scuttles off.  
“That’s a weird kid...” The coworker says, and Kuroo nods in agreement. “Maybe he doesn’t get out that much.”  
“College must be hard for him then...” Kuroo says, and the rest of his work day is spent thinking about it.  
With this person's appearance at the shop, Kuroo's tedious job starts to get a little more interesting. He sees Kozume every once in a while. It’s always just as awkward as the first encounter every time. The fascination with this person never seems to wane either, and Kuroo has started rushing to work to see if he can get there in time to take Kozume's order. He comes in at about the same time, about twice a month. It’s probably a little expensive, as these sorts of stores tend to be, and the coffee isn’t even that good. This is something that’s been agreed upon by him and his coworkers. Kuroo figures it must be the pie that he’s here for as it is quite tasty, and it's better to have something warm after class at this time of the year. His coworkers have noticed him getting to work a little earlier than usual. It’s really just so that he might be able to take Kozume’s order, but his managers appreciate it quite a bit and they've been hinting at a slight raise. Additionally, he’s been caught starting at Kozume on multiple occasions.  
“It’s starting to get a little weird, Kuroo,” One of them points out. “I think it might just be you making him nervous.”  
“Really?” Kuroo feels a little flustered, “I’m sorry,” He nods slightly, embarrassed with himself. “It’s just... his hair. The roots are pretty bad, hey?” Laughing nervously, Kuroo returns to cleaning the coffee pots and the subject is dropped, but his hands are shaking. It’s a terrible justification. His hair is constantly a mess and he can’t find a way to fix it up, so it must seem a little suspicious that he’s critiquing someone else for some roots. After he finishes cleaning, he trembles to the bathroom and mulls over his new fascination for a few minutes, embarrassed with himself.

The fall finals season begins. Kuroo isn’t able to work as much, but somehow he manages to catch Kozume during the exam break. He looks even more drained than usual, and he’s wearing a really big scarf on top of a warm hoodie. It’s not even that cold out. He must be sick.  
Kuroo takes his order, and Kozume seems even more flustered than usual. It makes him feel bad for the poor firstie, he must be getting his ass kicked by finals now. “Exams?”  
Kozume nods.  
He must not like talking that much, Kuroo thinks to himself. It’s the usual order, except this time he’s decided on two apple pies. He must eat his feelings, Kuroo thinks, and laughs to himself a little bit.  
“I-I just like them...” Kozume says, staring at the floor.  
“I wasn’t laughing at you,” Kuroo panics, “It’s just that exams are hard, especially on first years, I guess it just reminds me of how it was.” He sputters out, trying to come up with an alternate reason for laughing.  
“Um... Yeah.” Kenma nods again, shuffling awkwardly. Kuroo looks at his shaky hands, and wonders if this person really is socially inept. "It's just that I never really learned how to study on my own." He says blankly, his voice doesn't match the panicked look on his face. His lanyard has migrated off his neck but the tail of it still hangs out of his pocket. It makes him look even more cat-like than before.  
‘So cute...’ Kuroo thinks, before pressing his eyes together in self-hatred. He’s managed to even gross himself out. “Your name is Kozume, right?”  
“Kozume Kenma, yeah.” Kenma says, staring wide-eyed up at Kuroo. “Do you go to the same college as me then?”  
“Yep,” He says, “I spend most of my time working here though...” He scribbles ‘Kozume’ in kana on the cup. His first name is more suited to him, but Kuroo doesn’t want to seem too ‘familiar' by writing the first name.  
“It must be nice working in a store like this.” Kenma says, looking around.  
He's thought about quitting three times today, but he doesn't want to talk about something so negative. “It’s not bad. The location’s pretty convenient for me.”  
“Must be.”  
The conversation dies off. Kuroo hands Kenma the coffee and they exchange a quick ‘thank you.' Kenma goes to sit by a window, looking at his phone. That’s a first.  
‘That didn’t go so bad.’ Kuroo thinks to himself, feeling bad for how distraught Kenma looks. He’s texting really quickly on his phone and one-handing his pastry, which he seems pretty happy to have. There’s no other customers until a while after Kenma leaves quietly, thanking Kuroo again.  
When Kuroo gets home he decides to ask some of his friends if they know a Kozume Kenma, which was a longshot to begin with, so he isn’t too disappointed to hear that no one knows of him. They have a pretty big campus and a very large number of students, so it makes sense. It makes even more sense when he thinks about how standoffish Kenma seems.  
It makes Kuroo anxious to consider that he might have a crush on someone. He’d been avoiding ‘putting himself out there’ because of wanting to focus on studies, but it’s beginning to seem like this is unavoidable, as this person returns at least twice a week to his workplace and he seems a bit more talkative now. 

The next day, Kuroo sits down in a different library than usual for lunch and cracks open a textbook to study, but his phone immediately dings. A few people look at him as he silences his notifications.  
It’s a text from Bokuto, who finally responded to his text from the previous night: “I know who Kozume is. He’s in my history class but he’s usually asleep.”  
“Oh.” Kuroo sends, not sure why he even asked.  
“He asked me to borrow a pen once and he forgot to give it back.” Bokuto sends.  
“That’s shitty.” Kuroo sighs, putting his chin in his hand. He doesn’t feel like eating now that he's nervous about what his friend thinks of Kenma.  
“Why do you ask? He seems boring.”  
“He comes into the store a lot and he seems socially inept.” Kuroo replies and puts his phone down, deciding that he should probably eat either way.  
And then he notices Kenma walking into the library towards him, but he’s looking down at his phone.  
Their eyes meet, Kenma’s widen to an immense degree. He does a 180 straight for the door he came in through.  
The screen on Kuroo’s phone lights up and he notices it from the corner of his eye, but he’s staring at the back of Kenma, who’s now almost running down the hall.  
He checks his phone, his hands are shaky again.  
“Socially inept seems a little harsh...” is Bokuto’s response.  
Kuroo decides not to reply, and finishes his lunch without taking another glance at his textbook. Socially inept is probably a nice way to put it. He could understand not wanting to talk, or being a little shy, but literally running away is a bit _much._

He doesn’t see Kenma at work for a long time. The fall exams are done, and even though he’s been working a lot more often lately, Kenma doesn’t show up at all. He kind of misses him, and for a brief moment he wonders if the guy had switched schools. This worry is quickly assuaged by Bokuto, but the fact that he got so worried about it made him think about how silly he's getting.  
It’s nearly winter exams by the time that Kuroo even sees Kenma again, and this is as he’s exiting the store with a coffee, walking awfully close to another guy. He gets a nod from Kenma, or it might have been him burying his face in his scarf. He can’t tell.  
He tries to push the thoughts about the other guy out of his mind as he works. He looked a little slimy and it seemed like a total mismatch, even though Kuroo didn’t have much of an idea of who either of them really are. He's not even sure if they're 'together' but it's still enough to hurt a bit, they were almost holding hands.  
At home, his parents seem to notice that he’s been a little ‘off’ lately but he brushes it off. “Usual school stuff,” He says, and they lay off a bit. He sneaks up to his room and barely eats dinner that night.  
Bokuto has been texting him with updates on Kenma, even though he never really asked for more information. Kuroo would of course press him for all the details, sometimes forgetting that Bokuto doesn’t know about how infatuated he is. He got another class with him, this one being an introductory computer science course.  
“He’s been sitting next to this total slimeball in comp-sci class.” He texts at the odd hour of two in the morning.  
“Why are you texting me at two?” Kuroo tries to ignore what Bokuto said, but he eventually double texts him, fully awake now. “Who?” He stares at the unchanging screen for a few minutes, painfully curious as to what Bokuto is going to say.  
“I’m studying right now. Anyways, it’s this Daishou guy and Kozume has been awake the entire class because he’s staring at him. Eugh...” Bokuto texts back a few minutes later.  
Kuroo slumps back into bed, smacking his head off the wall. He flinches, and the pain makes it hard for him to think about what to text back. “Yuck.” He sends back. It’s pretty clear that at this point that Bokuto doesn’t think much of Kozume. “Why are you taking a beginner comp-sci class though?” He asks.  
“I have an open option and this seemed interesting.”  
“You’re studying education though...”  
“Teachers use computers, don’t they?”  
Kuroo rolls his eyes. “You should’ve picked something a little closer to your major at least.”  
“God Kuroo, remind me to never text you at night again. Grumpy.” Bokuto stops replying after this, feeling indignant. 

The next time Kuroo sees Kenma, he’s with the same guy. His assumptions that this person is Daishou is confirmed when he takes their names. Kenma doesn’t even glance at him, instead diverting his eyes to the floor. They sit inside together and Daishou seems to make Kenma laugh quite a bit. Kuroo’s resentment grows a little more each time he sees them together. He knows entirely well that it’s stupid for him to be so emotionally invested in this, that he's only talked to Kenma a few times, and that Kenma probably couldn't care less about his opinions on this.

* * *

 

The third year for Kuroo begins, and the Kozume Updates from Bokuto stop entirely.  
“Kind of miss making fun of that Kozume guy with you.” Bokuto sends out of the blue as Kuroo’s standing outside a lecture hall.  
Making fun of him...? Kuroo didn’t take him for the type to ‘make fun of’ people. He thought they were just neutrally discussing him. “Yeah, he still comes into the store once in a while with that Daishou guy.”  
“They seem like a pretty good match though. Both are weird.” Bokuto texts back about an hour later after his class.  
“You really don’t like Kenma, do you?”  
“He stole my pen and he doesn’t pay attention in class, but he got a really good grade apparently.”  
“Is Daishou a second year?”  
“He’s in the same year as us.” Bokuto says.  
That makes it even worse somehow. “Either way thanks for the updates.” He quickly shoots off the last text before the lecture hall opens up.

Kuroo decides to go to the library that he encountered Kenma at, and sure enough, he’s sitting there with Daishou. Kenma doesn’t seem to notice him walking by, and Kuroo goes to sit at the opposite end.  
It’s a little strange of him to always eat lunch at the library. It’s definitely against the ‘no food or beverage’ policy that the college has for libraries and study spaces, and it’s also just kind of weird. But that’s how he’s always done it and he’s never gotten in trouble for it, so it’s been the routine.  
As he goes to his next class, Kenma and Daishou are exiting together. His nose wrinkles and he makes a point of walking as far from them as he can manage in the hall.

After his first midterm, Bokuto decided to hang around the cafe that Kuroo works at. They’d arranged to go and drink after Kuroo’s shift, so he went ahead and met up with Kuroo a few hours too early.  
“I’m tired...” Bokuto suddenly says, drawing out his words and stretching his arms. He leans back in the chair and looks over to the counter that Kuroo is standing behind. "And I'm bored."   
“Go home then.” Kuroo replies, wondering why Bokuto decided to study in the cafe in the first place. He technically isn't even supposed to be in here, especially since he didn't order anything. Kuroo gave him a cup of coffee anyway but his coworkers are all staring at their guest, who has definitely overstayed his welcome. At least it's not busy right now, and no one else has asked him to go, so Kuroo hasn't had that awkward 'you have to leave' conversation with him yet.  
“You’re so cold.” He mumbles, yawning. “I thought we were gonna hang out after your shift.”  
“Well then get back to studying and stop bothering me...” Kuroo says quietly, “My manager is gonna get mad at me for letting you stay here without ordering.”  
“Okay, okay...” Bokuto pulls out another textbook and studies for a solid minute before whipping his phone out again.  


After work, Kuroo and Bokuto get on the train and head to a small pub on Bokuto’s end of town. Bokuto gets a beer and downs it at a remarkable pace, while Kuroo nurses a coke with rum in it, somewhat hunched over at the table.  
“So why’d you hang around?” Kuroo asks.  
"I was kind of hoping I'd see that Kozume guy, since you talk about him a lot." He gives a toothy grin, and Kuroo feels like disappearing. "Has he not been around lately?" Kuroo looks over his shoulder at the bar, thinking about what he wants to say before turning back to Bokuto. "He hasn't been stopping by work lately, but I've seen him at the libraries a lot." “Is he the reason why your mood has been so buggered lately?” He asks. “You took a real nosedive when I told you about his new friend.”  
Kuroo glares at him, why is he so perceptive about this matter in particular? “Well,” He clears his throat. “I don’t really wanna talk about that right now...” Kuroo wanted to see Bokuto lose the ‘focused’ look but it doesn’t go away.  
“Kuroo, he’s really your type, isn’t he?” He pries further, as soon as Kuroo looks relaxed again.  
‘Don’t tease me...’ Kuroo pleads silently. “What makes you say that?” He keeps his face straight.  
“Well, I guess he has long-ish hair, and I’m not sure what else but you seemed to always like short, ‘cute’ stuff.” He explains, thinking about everyone else that Kuroo has liked in the past. There's a theme, that they're all on the smaller side, have long hair, and big eyes. “And you always seemed to want to talk about him.”  
“You’d always bring him up...” Kuroo whines.  
“I just think it's cute." Bokuto puts his hand under his chin and glances at something behind Kuroo, before looking down at the table. When Kuroo looks too, whatever it was has went away. "But I am getting a bit worried."   
“What’s the matter?” Kuroo asks, straightening out his face a bit. If he cares then it might be best not to push him away.  
“Every time you get a crush it makes you depressed...” He points out. "And look at you right now, you're all bummed out for no good reason."  
“I appreciate the concern, but I really don’t think I have a crush on anyone right now." He sees Bokuto's eyebrows go up. "Come on, man, stop grilling me."   
"Just promise me that you'll tell me about it if stuff starts going south for you again." He says, and he holds his pinky finger out.  
“You’re joking, right?” Kuroo stares at the outstretched pinky for a few seconds but he doesn’t budge. “You really want a pinky promise?”  
“Lock it in-!” Bokuto exclaims. A few people glance at them.  
Kuroo ‘locks it in.’  
The topic changes a few times, and they get a little bit more settled into their drinks. Hanging out with Bokuto is always fun when he isn't being serious, and it ends up being a reasonably fun night. He seems a bit distracted, and Kuroo welcomes the lack of scrutiny he receives, but it is a little strange that he doesn't seem that invested in the conversation. 

Kuroo ended up not drinking a lot but is somehow still wasted, while Bokuto is the precise opposite. He doesn't seem that affected by “Are you sleeping over then?” Bokuto asks, looking confused when Kuroo sits on his bed.  
“I suppose I am.” Kuroo looks around hazily. “If I move I’ll probably puke...”  
“I guess I’ll take the couch then.” Bokuto sets his dustbin beside the bed. “If you gotta puke then keep it in the bin please.” He says cheerfully, and exits, sighing. Kuroo has definitely been off lately.  
Kuroo stares at the ceiling, and then at the volleyball jersey, medals, and related memorabilia sitting on his shelves. He quit playing after high school, but Bokuto is in the recreational league at the college. He got thoroughly harassed for quitting but he wanted to focus on his academics more, and while a few of his friends from high school are in his college’s league, he felt it just wouldn’t be the same. Bokuto still sometimes gathers up some friends for impromptu games at the park, but the lineup shuffles around quite a bit and there’s no real stakes in it. Kuroo sometimes participates and it’s fun, but it’s still not the same feeling he got when he was competing. He dozes off thinking about how nice it would be if he could’ve played in just one more tournament in high school.

“Kuroo!” Bokuto nudges at the sleeping boy’s shoulder, and eventually yanks the pillows from Kuroo’s arms.  
“It’s Saturday...” Kuroo mutters, snatching the pillows from Bokuto and smooshes them into his temples.  
“I made breakfast though...” He whines, “I took my time on it too.”  
Rolling out of bed, Kuroo figures it’d be rude to not wake up for Bokuto. He wanders out to the kitchen, and sees two bowls of cereal sitting on the table. "Thanks..." He sits at the table and starts eating.   
“I lied. I didn’t take my time.” Bokuto says, looking ashamed. “I just got lonely.”  
“I can see that.” Kuroo mutters, “Do you have any coffee?”  
Bokuto nods, “It’s just instant coffee though, and it’s kind of old.”  
“It’ll do.” Kuroo gets up and decides to make it for himself. Even though Bokuto is an adult, and is quite a capable person, he feels as though watching Bokuto near boiling water would give him a heart attack. He starts the kettle and sits back down.  
“You’re still not much of a morning person, are you?” He laughs.  
“No, I don’t think I’ll ever be a morning person...” Kuroo’s head feels like it’s going to split right open. “I gotta study today, there’s a bunch of midterms coming up...”  
“How many?”  
“Well there’s two on Monday, and then another on Wednesday, and then there’s two on Friday. All of them managed to clump together in one week. I’m gonna die...” He stares down at the table and thinks about what he’s going to do. Maybe drinking last night wasn’t such a great idea.  
“Oh wow, I only have four and none of them are on the same day, I had one yesterday that I think I did okay on.” Bokuto replies. He knows that Kuroo would never slack off, let alone fail a test, but the pressure he puts on himself is a little worrying at times. “I think you’ll do great though.”  
“Thanks...” Kuroo gets up and makes his coffee, although he knows that it won’t help his hangover much. “I'm not actually that worried, but the fact that they're so close together isn't great." “You’ll be fine.” Bokuto replies in a strangely firm tone. “The worst thing that could happen is you might have to study extra for the final or something.”  
Kuroo would rather not have to do that, but he supposes Bokuto is correct.


	2. kouen

Chapter 2 – こうえん

Kuroo sees Kenma at the library a few more times during the exam break. He’s sitting there with Daishou and they’re studying together. He’s learned that Daishou is a third year, and is studying computer science as well. It looks like he’s tutoring Kenma, which might’ve been what started their relationship.  
He sits far away from them, like usual, but occasionally he can pick out Kenma’s quiet laugh from the rest of the background noise. He must really find Daishou funny.  
Miffed, Kuroo puts in his headphones and starts plugging away at some review questions from his textbook. He’s exhausted though, and in addition to that, he can’t seem to sleep lately. It’s been a little tense, with all his exams piling up like they did. He’d finished the two exams on Monday, and preparing for the one on Wednesday is his first priority. Statistics is something he’d come to hate with a passion. However, this course was a prerequisite for an advanced economics course he had to take, so it was absolutely necessary that he did well on this test. Up until this week, he’d found university somewhat less intense than high school. His prep school was brutal, and he was glad to have some sort of freedom in his day to day life, but the way that his tests seemed to crowd each other this year was really something else.  
When it’s time for his next class he walks past the couple. They seem pretty engrossed in what they’re doing, and Kenma doesn’t even seem to notice Kuroo. Daishou gives him a small wave.  
“Hi,” Kuroo manages to mutter out as he’s walking. 

The rest of the midterms go by without too much worry. Once statistics is out of the way, studying became easy for Kuroo and he even felt pretty confident about how his midterms went. Except, of course, statistics.  
After his last test, Kuroo had a shift scheduled. It was an unfortunate time to have to work, he felt more like celebrating the end of his midterms. He checks his phone on his break.  
“How’d you do?” Bokuto asked a few hours ago.  
“I think I did alright. You?”  
He texts back right away. “Just alright? They went pretty good for me, I’m feeling pretty okay about the math exam for once.”  
“Yeah, I have a hard time with statistics. I got a B minus last year...” Kuroo explains.  
“B minus isn’t half bad. C’s get degrees, you know?” He replies instantly again, and then double texts, which isn’t uncommon from him. “I’m having a hard time getting into this English course for winter, though. They’re always full. By the way, how’s that thing with Kozume going?”  
The door dings, it’s Kenma. Again, he isn’t able to take the order, and it’s strangely agonizing to him. “Try e-mailing the prof. I gotta get back to work.” He quickly puts his phone back in his bag and readjusts his apron.  
Kuroo grabs a pair of tongs for the apple pie, it’s pretty much a routine at this point. He marvels at how Kozume is still slim after eating so many of these.  
“Are you okay?” His coworker asks.  
That’s not what Kuroo was expecting to hear. He turns to look at what’s going on, and Kenma is clutching at his chest. His face is flushed and his eyes look bleary.  
“Yeah, just exam stuff,” He coughs out. “C-can I get a medium coffee.”  
“No pie?”  
“No thank you,” His face is wet. He bites his lip.  
Kuroo squints, putting the pie back. He asks, “Are you sure you’re alright?”  
Kenma rubs his forehead, leaning on a rack of coffee beans for sale. He nearly knocks it over, but snatches it from falling at the last second. “I’m sorry,” He blinks, and a few tears fall from his eyes to the floor. “Shit...” He bolts for the door.  
Kuroo tears after him, jumping over the counter. He briefly pauses and thinks about how cool that must have looked. He manages to get in front of Kenma before he reaches the door, and it dawns on him that he didn’t have a plan going into this. “A-aren’t you gonna get that coffee you paid for?” He asks, straightening out his face and standing up tall. This is the first time they've really interacted without the counter between them.  
Kenma stares up at him incredulously. He’s shaking like a leaf. “H-how’d you get in front of me?”  
“Your coffee?” Kuroo repeats.  
“Why do you care if I get my coffee or not?” Kenma asks, almost smiling at how ridiculous the situation is. He rubs his eyes.  
“Well - you paid for it.” Kuroo sputters out. “And in the training manual it says that customers should be happy when they leave...” He trails off, folding his hands behind his back and pointing his foot out in front of himself.  
Kenma steps back, laughing a little, and plods towards the counter. He’s still trembling when he takes his coffee from the till. As he wipes his face with a napkin off the counter, he gives Kuroo a curt nod. "Thank you."  
Kuroo doesn't reply, he returns to washing pots and acts like nothing happened. His coworker watches him for a while before asking, “Why’d you do that?”  
Kuroo doesn't answer this right away, instead opting to turn towards the sink. "I sort of worry about him, I guess."  
Meanwhile, Kenma has decided to sit down in the shop, not wanting to leave with his face all screwed up from crying and breaking down. He isn't entirely sure what happened then. Normally, he's anxious, but this was much worse than usual. It doesn't normally make him cry, especially not in public. “You get pretty weird around that guy, to be honest.” The coworker says. They’re in the back, talking. “And you’re really lucky that the manager wasn’t here to see that...”  
“Yeah,” Kuroo scratches his head. “Sorry...”  
“It’s fine, just...” He sighs, “Why don’t you just ask him for his number or something?”  
“I’m pretty sure he’s taken.” Kuroo looks down at his shoes. “It’s whatever. I’m gonna just take my break now and talk to him, if that's okay.”  
Kuroo decides to pour himself a coffee and he sits at a table on the other end of the cafe from Kenma. It looks like he's getting a call.  
“Sorry for being so weird.” Kenma says quietly, sitting back in his chair once he's done on the phone. The call he just finished sounded a little tense.  
“Was it just exam stress?” Kuroo asks.  
“I had two tests today...” Kenma says. “And there’s some other stuff with my friend.”  
“Who?” Kuroo asks, but he has a feeling that it’s probably that Daishou guy.  
“Sorry, uh... Daishou Suguru? The guy I’ve been hanging out with in the library and stuff. I thought you knew him, he waved at you.” Kenma says, smiling nervously and putting his hands around his coffee.  
Kuroo comes to sit by him, “Yeah, I only know him from the cafe. Like you.” He says. “Did you want to talk about it? I’m pretty good at studying and what not, if you want some advice.” He watches Kenma, who is now fiddling with his earbuds.  
“Well, the thing is...” Kenma sighs and looks away, “I honestly don’t think I should talk about this sort of stuff with a stranger.”  
Kuroo takes a few seconds to gather some confidence, and manages to squeak out, “Let’s be not-strangers then.” He suggests, his voice sounds strained.  
Kenma gives him a curious look, before nodding, “I suppose that’d be good.” He pulls out his phone, “Do you have docomo?” He asks, and they exchange contact information. “I hope I’m not keeping you from your work...” He says, glancing at the coworker behind the counter.  
Kuroo glances at the other staff member as well, who gives him a nod. “No, don’t worry about it...”  
“Well, I’m mostly worried because I think I failed a pretty important test,” Kenma admits, “I tried to study on my own but Daishou would normally help and tutor me. He said he would, so I wasn’t too worried, but then he cancelled last minute and went off with his girlfriend...”  
‘His... girlfriend...’ Kuroo rubs his chin, and a very guilty sense of happiness washes over him. ‘Noted.’ “Well, that’s no good.” He rubs his chin and settles into the chair a bit. When he looks at Kenma again, he's surprised to see that he looks extremely sad. His thin eyebrows are tilted in and his eyelids hang lower than usual.  
“And this is a little weird," He pauses, pulling his sweater tight around his shoulders. "But I felt jealous of her and I was really mad at him during my test, I couldn’t focus at all.” He puts his hands up, seeming relieved to admit it. “It was really bad.” He chuckles nervously, “And I started crying and I ran out.”  
“You ran out?” Kuroo says a little louder than intended, and then repeats it in a more hushed tone. "You ran out? Of an exam?"  
“Well I started getting this weird feeling in my chest and I couldn’t breathe, or something...” His hands, which are surprisingly large for his size, are balling up into fists at the hem of his shirt. “I felt like I was gonna die.”  
“You should probably see a doctor about that.” Kuroo says, “It sounds pretty serious.”  
“The doctor said I have anxiety and told me to see a counsellor. So I’m gonna have to do that eventually.” Kenma says, fidgeting more. “I’ve always had a bit of a hard time with that sort of stuff, but I haven’t dealt with it.” He sighs, looking away yet again. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it, let alone with an almost complete stranger, but at the same time he's slowly calmind down. "I know that I have to do something about this but every time I go to the counsellor it's like I can't talk about it..."  
“You should probably start as soon as possible, you know, these sorts of things can really mess up your life if you don’t take action...” Kuroo replies, finding it kind of surreal that they’re actually having a conversation when just a few minutes ago Kenma was trying to run away. He’s surprised that being so weird actually worked out for him. “Anyways, did you get a note from the doctor about it? Is there any way for you to get a rewrite?”  
“N-no, I didn’t think there was any way for that to happen. That’s why I was crying...” He trembles, “It’s a computer science course too, that’s my major.”  
“Well, why don’t you take the note into your class and see if you can get some help. It’s just a midterm, right?” Kuroo says, trying to reassure him.  
“I-” Kenma pauses. “That’s true. It’s just that Daishou’s been tutoring me on everything up until now and it really stings that he’s suddenly decided to drop me.”  
“I thought you two were dating.” Kuroo mentions offhandedly.  
Kenma frowns and shakes his head, “That’s kind of what I thought too.”  
“It’s that bad then?”  
He just nods. “Yeah...”  
It’s awkward, sitting there. They’d never had much of a conversation before, and Kenma thinks it's very strange that he's spilling this situation to a complete stranger.  
“Well,” Kuroo suddenly stands up, it startles Kenma. “If you wanna hang out or get help with your studying I’m usually off at five.”  
Kenma nods, and finishes his coffee. “I might just get a pie actually...” He mumbles. 

Kenma doesn’t reach out to Kuroo at all for about two weeks, but he’s been spotted at the cafe and they’ve had a few short talks. It’s refreshing to see a somewhat relaxed look on Kenma’s face when they’re discussing school and those sorts of things.  
“Any more midterms for you?” Kenma asks as he’s waiting.  
“No, I don’t have to worry until finals.” Kuroo smiles.  
“That’s lucky.” He remarks as he’s handed a coffee and a pie. “I have a course that needs me to do two midterms and then a bunch of assignments, it’s pretty busy.”  
“What kind of course is it?” Kuroo asks.  
“Oh, it’s just about data structures, algorithms, stuff like that...” Kenma says, trailing off when it’s apparent that Kuroo doesn’t know what he’s talking about. “It’s pretty dry, even if I like computers.”  
“That’s too bad. I have no idea about that stuff, sometimes I play video games but past that my computer is just for school.” Kuroo says, and it looks like Kenma’s getting ready to go.  
“Well, have a good shift,” Kenma says, looking around again. He seems to really like this place. 

Kuroo receives a text a few hours later, it’s from Kenma. His heart flutters a bit.  
“What kind of games do you play?”  
Kuroo scratches his chin, thinking for far too long about what he’s going to say. He also doesn’t want to text back right away, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to seem dismissive. He winds up taking much longer to reply than he had hoped to. “Just FPS kinds of games. What about you?” He replies.  
“RPGs mostly. I like Monster Hunter a lot.” Kenma answers a few minutes later. He was busy texting Daishou. They still keep in touch but it seems so one-sided now.  
“I’ve heard about that game but I never played it.” Kuroo texts back. He’s in bed, ready to go to sleep but he’s feeling wide awake now.  
He doesn’t get a reply and feels a little disappointed. 

The next day, he opens his phone to see a text from Kenma.  
“I fell asleep, sorry. You should try playing MH it’s fun.”  
“That’s okay. And I might check it out.” Kuroo laughs a little at his phone. “Did you get any stuff with the test figured out yet?”  
“No.” Kenma texts back a few minutes later, and then sends “but I’m gonna do that today.” right after.  
“Good, let me know if you need help.” Kuroo ended up walking a few friends through getting exams deferred, even though he’d never had to do it himself. For some reason, he seemed to slip naturally into that sort of supportive role.  
“Thanks.”  
“No prob.” 

The rest of the day goes by without much incident, but when he starts his shift at the cafe it’s difficult for him to focus. He hasn’t gotten his grade in statistics back yet and the prof mentioned that there’s been a bit of a low average on that test.  
At home, after his shift, he decides to google Monster Hunter and learns a little bit more about it. It seems complicated.  
His phone buzzes. “They’re not gonna let me retake the test.” It’s Kenma again.  
“That’s not good. Why not?”  
“They said that since it only makes up about ten percent of my grade, they’ll just shift the weighting onto the final exam.” He explains, with a worried emoji attached on the end.  
“Huh, that’s okay though. You’ll just have to study a little harder.” Kuroo tacks a happy cat emoji on the end, sends it, and turns his phone off. He opens up his statistics textbook and does questions for about an hour. When he turns his phone back on, he sees that Bokuto has texted him about five times in a row, and there’s two from Kenma.  
“You won’t believe who signed up for the volleyball scrimmage tomorrow.” Was the first message from Bokuto, followed by, “You need to guess though.” “Kuroo?” “Hey!” “Hey!” “Hey!”  
“I was studying. Who is it?” Kuroo asks, staring at the wall in exasperation.  
“You need to guess.” Bokuto sends back instantly. He must be pretty excited.  
“Uh...” Kuroo says out loud, before looking at his phone again. “Could it be... me? I did sign up. Happy?”  
“No offense, Kuroo, but since you sign up pretty often it's not that exciting. Hint: I’m happy on your behalf.”  
Kuroo squints at his phone, what is he talking about? “Is it a cute girl?”  
“No.”  
He frowns. “Is it someone that I hate and you’re being sarcastic with me?”  
“Not that either.” Bokuto stares indignantly at his phone. "That's something that you would do, not me." “Could you just tell me?” Kuroo pleads. His phone rings. Before he can say hello, he hears Bokuto on the other line.  
“It’s Kozume!” He shouts.  
Kuroo flinches from his phone, “Kozume?”  
“Yeah.”  
He can imagine Bokuto with a huge grin on the other end, and then the strangeness of the situation kind of settles into his head. “He likes volleyball?” Kuroo asks in disbelief. “He’s not very... athletic looking.”  
“That’s kind of mean...” Bokuto replies after a few seconds of being quiet. "I thought you'd be happy."  
“I-I guess I am.” Kuroo rubs his chin. “It’s just weird, in my opinion. Too big of a coincidence.”  
“Well, that was the big news. Sorry to bother you.” Bokuto crosses his legs on his desk and sits back in his chair, looking dejected.  
“No, no.” He stops in his tracks, realizing that he’s raining on Bokuto’s parade. It’s been a trend lately, not looking on the bright side. Kuroo checks to see if he’s hung up. It’s surprising that he hasn’t, he’s just being strangely quiet. “I’m not bothered at all.”  
“I mean, I’m not a huge fan of him, but I just thought you would get excited for something for once.”  
“I’m excited.” Kuroo says, feigning a positive tone. He’s actually nervous now, about how it’ll go. “Even if Kozume wasn’t there I’d be excited to have a game with you.”  
“Really?” Bokuto grins, and his usual tone returns.  
“Yeah,” Kuroo grins.  
They chat for a little bit longer and Kuroo tells him about the strange encounter he had with Kenma at the cafe that day. Bokuto mentions that he would’ve liked to see the counter parkour that Kuroo did.  
When they’re done chatting Kuroo prays that he didn’t hurt Bokuto’s feelings. Even though he knows that he isn’t responsible for how Bokuto feels, it was still a little jarring to hear him sound so sad. He says bye, and they end the call. He's glad that the conversation was able to recover, and he puts his phone down. He pushes those sad thoughts aside and checks if he had any homework for economics. He's been neglecting that course, despite his lack of expertise. There’s a few study guide questions for it, so he decides to plug away at it even though he doesn’t really have to until it’s time to hand it in. It’s ten by the time he’s satisfied with the amount that he’s completed.  
When he opens his phone he realizes that he forgot about Kenma’s messages.  
“I guess so.” Is his response, and then a few minutes after that he sent, “At least it’s not a zero.”  
“Yeah, that’s good.” Kuroo sends before tucking himself in and getting his pillows situated. 

The next day is a Saturday, and he doesn’t have any work scheduled. It’s honestly a little surreal to him. The game is today, but it’s at noon, and he woke up strangely early.  
There’s a message from Bokuto on his phone. It was sent at three in the morning, too.  
“Remember! The game is today. You mind bringing a ball or two?”  
“For sure. Why are you staying up so late?”  
“I got really nervous about my grade in English so I was studying it.”  
“I guess you’re a real night owl.” Kuroo sends, smiling at his own joke.  
Bokuto just sends him a laughing emoji in response. It’s been so long since someone pulled that pun out, it almost became funny again. Almost. 

 

Kuroo lets his parents know that he’ll be out for most of the day, and grabs his bags. He decides that he’ll hang out with Bokuto until it’s time for the game, not wanting to spend his day off mostly in his room.  
“I’m coming over btw.” He sends once he’s at the station.  
“Oh, really?” Bokuto sends back.  
“Yeah, is that okay?”  
“Yeah, I guess.”  
“You guess??” Kuroo can’t get a reply after that.  
He waits at the train station, texting a few of his friends that are going to be at the game as well. These impromptu matches are fun, but he doesn’t attend religiously like the rest of them, so they’re excited to hear that he’ll be there. He’s one of the few people that can receive Bokuto’s spikes somewhat regularly.  
The train arrives and he shoots off a few more messages before he boards. He’s surprised to see Kenma sitting there, playing games on his PSP with his headphones in.  
He sits beside him, and Kenma just shifts over, leaning on the pole with a bored look in his eye.  
‘Cold...’ Kuroo thinks to himself.  
He shifts further away a few times. Kuroo squints at him, confirming that it is in fact Kenma, and not someone that looks strangely similar to him. Kuroo huffs and scoots away, a little upset.  
After a few minutes of this person not getting the hint, Kenma finally glances at the person sitting right beside him despite the car being mostly open. He jolts when he realizes that it’s his friend. He pops an earbud out and nervously laughs, “I didn’t realize it was you,” He sputters out.  
“I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” Kuroo gestures toward the window.  
“Same to you,” Kenma stares at him with the same look as when the counter incident happened. “I’m actually pretty lost. I missed my stop.”  
‘Could it have anything to do with the fact that you’re staring at your game with your headphones in?’ Kuroo remarks internally, “Does that happen often?”  
Kenma scrunches up his nose and looks away. “No,” He turns his PSP off and wraps his headphones around it.  
“Is it because of your game?” Kuroo presses, it seems to annoy him a bit.  
“I get really bored.” Kenma puts his game in his bag and starts nervously glancing around at the other passengers. He lowers his voice a bit, “Trains make me a bit nervous too.”  
“I see.” Kuroo clears his throat. “Is it because there’s a lot of people here or...?”  
Kenma just nods.  
“Well, where are you going? I could just let you know when your stop is and you can do-”  
“It’s fine.” Kenma brushes him off, sounding harsh. “I’m going to Bokuto-san’s house before the game. You too then?”  
Kuroo looks at him, confused. “Bokuto’s house?”  
“Yeah, he said we were going to all go to your house as a surprise...” He presses his eyebrows together, “So I guess that’s not happening anymore and we’re all just going to meet up at his house...”  
He realizes why Bokuto seemed upset about him coming over. “Oh, that would’ve been nuts. I already let him know I’m going there anyways.”  
“That’s great.” He doesn’t look at Kuroo when he talks.  
They’re mostly silent for a while, Kenma mostly fidgeting.  
Kuroo just stares out the window of the opposite side of the train car, wondering why Kenma is so anxious. He taps his shoulder.  
Kenma looks at him. His eyes are very neat. “Is this our stop?”  
“Yep,” Kuroo says, standing up.  
Kenma follows him, finding it a little strange that Kuroo’s walking around so naturally on a moving train. He almost falls when it starts to stop.  
“Now we have to walk a little bit.” Kuroo says when they’re off the platform, but Kenma has already put an earbud back in and he’s staring at his phone as he walks. What is with this guy?  
He seems to follow along pretty well, even though he can’t really see what’s going on.  
“How do you not walk into things like that?” Kuroo asks offhandedly.  
“Practice.” Kenma replies. He’s texting someone. “I’m done now. Sorry if I acted weird on the train, I don’t really do so well when there’s a lot of people around.”  
There were only about 5 other people in the train car. “That’s fine. How do you handle school and stuff like that, though?”  
“I can deal with it it’s just very unpleasant.” He replies. “It’s not like I can’t handle stuff it’s just not great when I have to.” He almost sounds defensive.  
“That’s okay, I think I get it.” Kuroo replies and they continue walking quietly. “We’re almost there, by the way.”  
Kenma nods, putting his phone in his pocket and walking a little closer to Kuroo. “I’m kind of excited for the game. I haven’t played in quite a while.”  
“I wouldn’t have guessed that you play volleyball, to be honest.” Kuroo says, as they’re coming up toward his lawn.  
“That makes sense.” Kenma puts his stuff in his bag before they come in.  
Kuroo lets himself in, and Kenma follows. There’s a loud group down the hall, and a few sets of footsteps wandering around the kitchen.  
“I honestly don’t think I’ve met this guy in person but I texted his number from the poster...” Kenma says quietly when Kuroo tries to go into the kitchen.  
“Oh,” Kuroo blinks, “I thought you knew him. Y-” Kuroo almost mentions that Bokuto and Kenma were in the same class, but he doesn’t want to let it slip that he’s been talking about him.  
“No, just texting.” Kenma says, staring at his feet.  
“Bokuto! We’re here!” Kuroo announces.  
He slides down the hall in his socks towards Kuroo and Kenma, almost bowling them both over.  
Kenma gets a puzzled look on his face, staring up at Bokuto, who’s struggling to regain his balance after sliding. “Weren’t you in my comp-sci class?”  
“Yep, you were sitting a row in front of me.” Bokuto doesn’t seem to be able to look him in the eye. It’s probably guilt from how much of a jerk he was over text with Kuroo. “I got to look at your little pudding head for a semester.”  
“Pudding… head?” Kenma’s face gets a little red. He recovers after a few seconds, “I didn’t mean to steal your pen by the way...” He reaches in his bag and pulls out a plain, Bic brand, blue pen. There is absolutely nothing distinguishing about it.  
“O-oh, thanks.” Bokuto didn’t forget about the pen, but he pretends to be pleasantly surprised. “You didn’t have to.” He absolutely did have to.  
Kuroo gives Bokuto a knowing look, before changing the topic. “So you gathered everyone up at your house?”  
Bokuto nods, “Isn’t it nice!”  
Kenma keeps trying to look down the hall to see who’s all there. “How many people usually come to your games, usually?”  
“Eh, sometimes as few as fourteen, sometimes thirty. It’s pretty flexible. Kuroo comes to most of the games, but most people only occasionally drop in.” Bokuto describes it, “Today there’s seventeen people, including you two.”  
Kenma nods, somewhat anxious about going into a room with sixteen other people in it. “That’s great...” He says, mostly to himself.  
Bokuto leads them into the kitchen, “There really isn’t enough space,” He laughs nervously, “But everyone wanted to get gathered early because we were going to go get lunch before the game.”  
“Oh, why wasn’t I invited?” Kuroo says, and Bokuto looks nervously to the side.  
“We were going to surprise you by showing up at your place.” Bokuto scratches his neck.  
“Yeah, Kenma told me about that because I spotted him on the train.” Kuroo pauses, “But really, all 16 of you?”  
“Yes.” Bokuto grins, “I thought it would cheer your grumpy face up a bit.”  
“I’m not grumpy...”  
A little smile appears on Kenma’s face, listening to the two converse. He’s glad they haven’t gone to the living room where everyone else is. It sounds like they’re all chatting, he can’t pick out much of what they’re talking about.  
“We’re gonna get going pretty quick here, though,” Bokuto says after they discuss the plans. “So keep your bags handy.”  
Kenma and Kuroo stay in the kitchen, both of them sitting on the counter and looking at their phones. It’s a nice day so far.  
Bokuto can be heard over everyone else in the other room, laughing and nearly shouting about the recreational league he’s in.  
Kuroo feels bad that he isn’t doing anything very prestigious with his volleyball skills. He figures that Bokuto could probably go for a university scholarship. But he chose a college and he seems to be sticking with it, maybe for monetary reasons. It might have something to do with the fact that he moved out of his home a lot earlier than most Japanese people do. Kuroo never pried about about why he chose to do that, and Bokuto never brought it up either.  
As they’re walking, Kenma doesn’t seem very interested in mingling with the others. They walk at a rather meandering pace towards a McDonald’s. Kenma looks a little miserable when he finds out that they’re going there. Kenma decides to sit at a table outside with Bokuto and Kuroo, as well as a rather scary looking guy named Yamamoto. It’s a bit quiet between Kenma and him.  
“So what position do you like to play, Kenma?” Kuroo tries to get Kenma involved in the conversation a bit more.  
“I’m usually setter.” Kenma says.  
“Oh, really?” Kuroo is a little surprised by that.  
“Yes.” Kenma returns to eating his fries.  
Kuroo presses his lips in a straight line, realizing that he probably sounded a little too surprised. “I play middle blocker, and I’m good at receiving.”  
Kenma just nods, not sure how to carry on the conversation.  
“I’m looking forward to the game. I wonder how we’re going to pick teams this time.” Yamamoto says, and they start chattering while Kenma pulls out his phone and busies himself with that.  
Eventually, Kenma gets a bit overwhelmed with all the loud conversation around him and he decides to slip off to the washroom.  
“What’s with that guy?” Yamamoto asks Kuroo once Kenma’s away.  
“I think he’s just scared of people, or something like that.” Kuroo says, “He’s pretty cool though, I think.”  
“You think everyone’s ‘cool,’ what do you mean?”  
“I dunno.” Kuroo sits back in his chair and drinks his water. “He’s kind of mysterious I guess, and he’s really laid back.”  
“Laid back?” Bokuto asks with a curious look on his face. “He seems really nervous to me.”  
“If you get to know him a bit, that is...” He stretches his arms a bit. “I don’t think he’s very good at making friends though.”  
“Well it’s good that you’re so insistent with people, then.” Yamamoto joins in on the talk.  
Insistent isn’t something Kuroo would use to describe himself, necessarily, and it’s a bit of a shock to hear that. “I guess so.” He finishes his drink. “It’s a little breezy out, I guess winter is coming soon.”  
“Yeah, I’m glad we’re getting a game in before it starts getting really cold.” Taketora says.  
The others agree and start discussing how teams are going to be this time. Bokuto’s room mates are all in the recreational league as well, so they decide that it’s fair to have an equal number of them on the same team. Additionally, they seem to have a new setter playing, which brings the number of setters up to two. This lack of setters has been a big issue. One team would always be missing an actual setter and they would always lose the match.  
On his way back from the washroom, Kenma bumps into one of the guys that’s playing today. He’s tall, with silver hair.  
“S-sorry,” Kenma weaves past him.  
“No, that was my bad,” He replies, and Kenma turns around. “You’re going to play today?”  
“Yeah, hopefully,” Kenma looks up at him, he’s very tall.  
“Awesome.” He grins, and they part ways.  
Kenma sees that Kuroo is waiting alone at the table. He approaches him timidly, pocketing his phone.  
“We’re going to go soon, and I accidentally threw out half your fries.” Kuroo says, looking more upset than the situation would call for.  
“That’s okay, I’m not really a fan of them anyways.” Kenma says flatly. “I brought some apples anyway, so I should be fine.”  
“Do you have a thing for apples or...?”  
“Maybe, I never really thought about that.” He starts walking.  
They walk a little bit behind the group, conversing about what Kuroo’s job is like.  
“So you don’t like working there?” Kenma asks.  
“Not really. But it’s pretty much the only place that seemed to want to hire me, and it’s so close to campus as well.” Kuroo says, answering a text from Bokuto, who is only about two metres ahead of him.  
“Oooo you two have ~chemistry~!” Is what Bokuto sent.  
“Stop that.” Is Kuroo’s reply.  
“I would trade you in a heartbeat. I work at the McDonald’s near my house...” Kenma reveals. “I normally just do fries.”  
“Oh...” Kuroo feels a little bad for him when he thinks about how noisy and chaotic McDonald’s tends to be. It also explains why Kenma seemed to pick away at his fries very, very slowly.  
“I don’t really mind it too much, it’s just that it makes me really tired.” Kenma seems to be inching away from the group, and they walk almost a full metre behind the rest of the the group.  
“So what made you want to come with us today?” Bokuto suddenly falls back beside Kenma.  
“I just felt like it.” Kenma says as they’re walking to the regular spot in the park. “It seems like a fun change of pace.”  
“That’s great! What position do you play?” Bokuto asks.  
“Setter.”  
“You really seem like a setter.” It contradicts Kuroo’s earlier surprise quite starkly.  
“Thanks,” Kenma assumes that this was a compliment.  
Bokuto grabs a few balls from Kuroo’s bag and everyone starts tossing them around, warming up.  
Kuroo and Kenma pass to each other for a while after stretching a bit, and then they toss for each other.  
“You seem a little tired,” Kuroo says, cocking his head a bit when Kenma sighs loudly.  
Kenma squints at him. “I don’t get a lot of exercise because I’m too busy studying.”  
Kuroo is feeling rather tactless today. “Sorry.”  
Kenma just stares at the ball he failed to set properly. He picks it up and hands it to Kuroo. “Truth is, I’m mostly doing this because my therapist told me to try other hobbies than just gaming.” He says when they’re a little closer together. “I’m having a really hard time even just sticking around here to be honest. And my stomach is all cramped up from eating.”  
Kuroo feels strange about how quickly Kenma is opening up to him. “Oh, I see.” It makes him feel even worse about how insensitively he spoke. “You really didn’t eat that much though.”  
“It’s mostly because it’s McDonald’s to be completely honest.” Kenma says, tossing the ball a few more times for Kuroo.  
“I’ll remember not to take you there then.” Kuroo blurts out, and his face gets red.  
Kenma coughs, and starts laughing. “Alright then.”  
He tries to recover from his earlier statement, straightening up a bit. “Wouldn’t that be funny?”  
“Where would you take me then?” He asks, and then realizes that’s not what Kuroo meant at all.  
They both stand across from each other, Kenma holding his ball, willing his hands not to shake.  
“I don’t know,” Kuroo says, deciding that this is actually going pretty well even though this was a complete accident. He was not expecting that question at all. “Where do you like?”  
Kenma tosses him the ball but it goes way off its course. His knees feel a little wobbly. “Sorry,” He laughs again, this time it sounds a little pained. He thinks about Kuroo’s earlier question. “Anyways, anywhere that isn’t extremely greasy.”  
Kuroo goes to grab the ball. He tosses it to Kenma, who sets it back to him. “Do you like shioyaki?”  
“Yeah,” Kenma smiles a bit.  
“There’s a place near campus.” Kuroo’s heart starts beating fast, are they setting something up?  
“Well,” Kenma sets the ball a few more times. His arms are starting to feel even weaker. He can’t bring himself to finish his sentence.  
“If you wanted to we could... go.” Kuroo stammers out quietly.  
“That’d be cool.” Kenma lets out a big breath of relief, glad that it seems to have worked out.  
They continue warming up quietly. Kenma seems to have gained a second wind and they’re working pretty well together.  
They start gathering together and Bokuto seems to do his best to balance the teams, but it’s pretty obvious that he put Kenma and Kuroo on the same team on purpose. The game goes well for the first few matches, although the team that Taketora and Lev are on definitely has the upper hand.


	3. バレーボール

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the filename for this is literally just 'gay fanfic chapter 3' btw   
> thanks for the nice comments and kudos! it really makes me happy to see that people are enjoying this. c:   
> updates will be somewhat irregular because university is a god damn beast   
> have a great evening/day!

Kenma is really amused at how pumped up Bokuto is getting just from a casual match like this. It’s endearing, and every time they score a point there’s a loud eruption from Bokuto and his close friends always join in on it. “Do you lose your voice often?” Kenma asks him after a while.   
“Nope.” Bokuto answers, looking confused, before returning his attention to the game.   
Kuroo laughs at the interaction, wondering if Kenma is being passive-aggressive or if he’s just genuinely curious.   
Both are on opposite teams, Kenma is setting to Taketora and Bokuto. They seem to work well together, and Kenma is proving to be an exceptional setter. It’s a pleasant surprise to everyone there.   
Kuroo is with Lev, whose skills have been improving a bit lately, but he still sometimes makes bad decisions and occasionally completely misses his spikes. Kenma silently thanks Bokuto for not putting them on the same team.   
“We gotta change the teams!” Bokuto announces, as if in response to Kenma’s thoughts.   
“No, really?” A player from the opposite side chides him.  
“Yeah really.” Bokuto doesn’t seem to notice the sarcasm, or he’s choosing to ignore it. “Hm ... Kenma, you’re going on the other side, and we’ll trade Lev for...” He points, reshuffling everyone.   
Kenma agrees that the sides seem more even now, and he’s a little happy that he’s on the same team as Kuroo. However, this also lands him on the same side as Lev. A few serves end up not connecting at all, and the one time that Lev actually hits it, it ends up flying far away from where the game is actually happening. Kenma’s nose scrunches up every time, and he seems a little embarrassed at how things are going. He never speaks up on it, and Lev only seems to register Kenma’s mistakes instead of his own.   
“Lev, you’re jumping too early.” Kuroo says eventually, tired of watching Kenma get upset. Kenma being overtly rude or getting loud, (yet,) but his face isn’t hiding any of his displeasure. “Kenma, why don’t you try speeding it up a little for him?”   
Kenma nods, looking at the ball and trying to avoid making a snide comment in response. “I’ll try that out, yeah,” He digs his feet in the grass a bit.   
They struggle to sync up for a while, and Kenma eventually decides to take a break. Kuroo tries to serve in his place, while Kenma sits on a bench and stares coldly at Lev. It’s surprising to see a somewhat huffy side to Kenma, and Kuroo is occasionally caught glancing at his friend on the sidelines. While it’s cute, it’s also a little upsetting to see that he isn’t having fun. Eventually they all decide to take a break.   
“Are you feeling alright?” Kuroo asks, settling onto the bench beside Kenma. A few others sit beside them, pushing Kenma and Kuroo further off to the side until Kuroo’s halfway off the bench.   
“Yep,” Kenma makes a very straight face but it only makes him seem more irritated. “I’m a little tired though...” He mentions offhandedly.   
“It’s probably been a while since you’ve played, right?” Kuroo asks, scooting in a bit. Kenma’s eyes flicker away a few times.   
“It’s been since I graduated from high school...” Kenma rubs his chin, “So quite a while. And I wasn’t very energetic in high school either,” He looks up at the sky for a bit, nudging at the grass with his foot.   
“You’re pretty good though...” Kuroo says, stretching his arms upwards. “It surprised me quite a bit when I realized you were coming with us.”   
Kenma squeezes his eyes shut briefly, looking down again. “Me too, to be honest.”   
“Do you think you’ll show up again?” Kuroo presses him, looking anxious. “Are you having fun?”   
Kenma laughs a bit, before staring pensively at his feet without answering. Kuroo seems to really want him to keep showing up, but Kenma himself isn’t so sure about what he wants to do. He looks over his shoulder at Lev, who is tossing a ball back and forth with Taketora and a few other guys. “It would be a bit more fun if that grey guy would cooperate with me.”   
Kuroo nods, they don’t seem too compatible. But don’t opposites attract? He would’ve expected more of a clash between Kenma and Taketora, if anything, but they seem to be alright with one another. However, things like this should probably expected with someone as isolated as Kenma, who doesn’t seem to like being around people in general. “You don’t like him very much, do you?”   
“It’s not personal like that...” Kenma mumbles, “Normally, I could just avoid people like that, but when you have to play on a team like that, it becomes a little difficult to negotiate.” He says, apparently not realizing that what he’s saying is a bit worrying.  
Kuroo takes a moment to process what Kenma said. “So you don’t think that avoiding certain people is an act of disliking them?” He asks.   
This seems to stop Kenma in his tracks. “No? Why would it be?”   
Kuroo presses his eyebrows together a bit, confused and almost irritated at Kenma’s words.   
Kenma doesn’t look at him for a while, sensing that Kuroo is put off. “It’s honestly not a matter of liking or disliking certain people, it’s just a matter of me being incompatible with most people. It doesn’t bother me, and if I’m not there to begin with, it can’t possibly bother them.” He states flatly. “You can understand that, right?”   
Kuroo crosses his arms and settles into his seat a little further, a mean-looking expression on his face. “I can understand it, for sure, but that’s kind of a shitty way to be...”   
Kenma looks a little startled by this. He nervously tugs at his bangs, which are starting to get a little long. He’ll have to get his mom to cut them when he gets home. “It’s not like I think I’m better than anyone else, if that’s what you’re thinking.”   
“That’s not even what I’m getting at, just...” Kuroo trails off. “Let’s not talk about this right now.”   
It looks like everyone is going to start playing again, but Kuroo and Kenma don’t get up, staring at each other, both looking miffed.   
“By the way, are you calling me shitty?” Kenma suddenly asks, remembering what Kuroo just said a few moments ago. He thinks about it for a while and every time he mulls it over, it starts to annoy him more.   
“No,” Kuroo quickly replies, alarmed. “It’s just that-”   
“You’re shitty too, you know?” Kenma cuts him off, crossing his arms and turning away. “Go play.” He orders, and pulls an apple out of his bag to eat. He shines it on his shirt, and discretely checks over his shoulder to see if Kuroo has left. He hasn’t, and their eyes meet briefly. Kenma blushes and turns back right away, “Go,” He waves his hand behind him, and Kuroo just sighs.   
“Sorry,” Kuroo finally breathes out, exasperated. “Can I have an apple?”   
“There for people who don’t call me shitty.” Kenma replies, sounding bitter.   
“Fine, I don’t want it anyway.” Kuroo gets up, pouting.   
Bokuto pulls him aside. “What’s this?” He gestures vaguely at Kenma, who’s sitting and staring at the opposite direction of the game.   
“I don’t know what happened. He doesn’t seem to like me right now.” Kuroo says, glancing at the game. “Which team am I on?” Kuroo asks.   
Bokuto touches his chin in thought. “You’ll be on my team.”   
The next rally starts, but Kuroo is a bit distracted. He keeps looking over to Kenma, who’s at least watching the game now. He’s watching Lev, who is receiving sets from a short guy with light brown hair. The setter catches Kenma’s eye, he has a very solid receive as well. He watches with an intensely focused stare, seeing how the brown haired guy is working with Lev and trying to absorb as much information as possible. He decides to try again, and when the set is done, he scoots in between Lev and the other guy.   
Bokuto gives a small hoot when he sees Kenma walking on. Kenma gives Bokuto a brief thumbs-up, looking embarrassed. Kenma sets to Lev a couple of times, it seems to slowly improve until they’re working quite well together.   
The first time they score a point together, Lev squeezes Kenma in his arms quite vigorously, lifting him off the ground and rocking him. “Thank you Kenma--!” Lev says.   
Kenma’s feet dangle a few inches off the ground, swaying to and fro. His arms hang limp at his sides, he doesn’t even try to remove himself. “What for?” He asks, once he gets set back down. His seems flustered, but there’s a hint of a smile on his confused face.  
“You gave it another shot,” Lev claps him on the back for good measure.   
“Oh,” Kenma digs at the grass with his foot again, and then gazes up at Lev again. “I came here to play so I figured it’d be good to start looking at how you played as well.” He coughs out, reciprocating the back pat. “So I watched for a bit.”   
Kuroo watches him blankly from across the net.   
“That’s nice.” Lev says, smiling proudly. “I was beginning to think that you hated me...” He loses his smile and suddenly looks very serious.   
“I couldn’t...” Kenma looks bashful, almost cute.   
It makes Kuroo’s eyebrow twitch. It seems like they’re flirting. For someone who doesn’t seem to like people very much, Kenma is good at attracting attention. Feeling conflicted, Kuroo picks the ball back up. Kenma isn’t acting like he dislikes Lev at all, in fact it seems like the opposite is true. What caused such a sudden change of heart?   
“Alright, I’m gonna serve it,” Kuroo announces, but Kenma and Lev don’t stop chattering. “Oi!” He serves it, and it smacks off the top of Kenma’s head. The team tries to save it, and Kenma looks mortified. The rally actually happens, however, and Kenma’s team sends back over the net.   
Kenma stares at Kuroo, his eyes a little wide, but regains his composure shortly afterwards. When Kenma’s team receives the ball, Kenma manages to set it to Lev, who slams it into the ground on the other side of the net. There’s a somewhat determined look in Kenma’s eye, but Kuroo mistakes it for rage.   
“Sorry Kenma!” Kuroo calls out earnestly.   
“Stop staring at me and maybe you wouldn’t serve at me!” Kenma calls back, making Kuroo’s face turn a bright red. Bokuto laughs a little too loud.   
A few more rallies go by, Kenma and Lev completely carrying their team. They celebrate another point, and Kuroo realizes that they’re both exceptional players.   
They almost completely shut out the set, getting fifteen points before Kuroo and Bokuto’s team are able to get even five. Lev and Kenma seem really pleased, having scored a vast majority of the points. The amount of engagement that they’re getting from Kenma is nice as well, Kuroo predicted he’d sit most of the games out and pull his handheld out. Eventually, the game finishes. Kenma and Lev have essentially won the game for their team. Bokuto was able to put a bit of pressure on the others, but it didn’t matter because Kenma was delivering perfect serves to Lev, who whipped them down relentlessly.   
A few more games go by, everyone seems to relax a little and they stopped keeping score after a little while. Kenma and Lev wanted to stay on the same team for the rest of the day, but Bokuto eventually put a stop to it after a few more sets.   
“It stopped being fun after the third set where you wouldn’t let anyone else score a point...” Kuroo mutters when Lev whines at them being split up. “Aren’t you getting a bit tired, anyways?” He asks Lev, who nods.   
“I think I’ll just go sit down for a while.” He says, dramatically waving good-bye to Kenma, who nods to acknowledge his new friend.   
Kenma ends up on the same team as Kuroo again, where they immediately start working together. Kuroo manages to send quite a few of the other team’s attacks back down from the net before Kenma and the rest of the team even has to worry about them. The ones that do end up on their side are quickly negotiated by Kenma and Bokuto, who seem to work okay together as well. While Kuroo does his best to block, and technically gains them more points, the show is again stolen by Kenma.   
The game doesn’t continue on much longer after Lev and Kenma are split up, but when they decide to wrap the game up, a few people decide to linger in the park for a while longer. Kenma is pulled to the side by Lev, who has just started college and seems interested in talking about whatever he can regarding school.   
“So you’re in computer science?” Lev asks, leaning against a tree. Kenma is hauling on his water bottle like he hasn’t drank in ages. “What’s that like?”   
“It’s okay.” Kenma answers after taking a deep breath. He looks very tired. “How about you? What program are you in?”  
“I’m in business. Like him,” Lev gestures over to Kuroo, who’s sitting cross legged with Bokuto.   
“Oh, hey, speaking of Kuroo...” Kenma walks up a little closer. “Do you know much about him?” Kenma asks, looking a little flustered suddenly.   
“Not a whole lot,” Lev says, watching Kenma sit down in the grass. He slides down the tree to join Kenma, but it scratches his back up and he regrets it immediately. Tugging his shirt down, he notices that Kenma is watching him quite intently. “I like him, but... He doesn’t come to games very often. I think he’s been showing up for Bokuto’s sake.”  
“That’s sad.” Kenma remarks quietly, “I mean, it’s good that he cares about Bokuto and all but...”   
“From what I’ve heard he doesn’t seem to do a whole lot for himself at all.” Lev adds when Kenma trails off.   
“Hm...” Kenma rubs his chin, surprised that Lev thinks that about Kuroo despite supposedly not knowing him well. “Is he popular?”   
“Yeah, everyone here knows him at least, and he comes up in the conversation quite a bit because he’s Bokuto’s friend.” Lev waves his hand a bit as he talks, “He wouldn’t like to hear that we talk about him though.”   
Kenma smiles, before returning to his usual bored look. “We’ve been talking lately, is why I’m asking.”   
Lev gets a keen look in his eye, “Are you the guy he was talking about that started having a meltdown at his work?”   
Kenma coughs nervously, “Not sure who that is, sorry.” He laughs. “Anyways... It’s just that he said something that kind of shocked me.”   
“Shocked you?” Lev asks, deciding not to push the other topic that he brought up any further. He concludes that the coffeeshop meltdown kid is definitely Kenma, however. “What’d he say?”  
“It’s not important.” Kenma says, “I’d honestly feel a little weird repeating it.” He explains further, “I’m gonna go talk to him though. Thanks for playing today, I had fun. Text me whenever.”” He gets up and gives Lev a small smile, and a noncommittal wave.   
“See you next time.” Lev says, getting up off the grass.   
‘Next time’ rattles in Kenma’s head for a while. He supposes he’ll come again. When he gets close, Bokuto and Kuroo’s chattering stops and they stare at him.   
“Hi,” Kenma sits down across from him, edging Bokuto out of the group somewhat.   
Bokuto smiles in a pained sort of way, happy that Kenma has decided to join Kuroo, but slightly miffed at how he’s now not part of the conversation.   
“’kay...” Kuroo says, “Message me when you’re home.”   
“Alright...”   
Kenma sits across from Kuroo. “So you wanted to go for shioyaki?”   
Kuroo nods.   
“Um...” Kenma pauses for a long while, unable to formulate a sentence. He’s happy but there’s a knot in his stomach. His face is red, but Kuroo can’t tell if it’s from serving for a few hours straight or if it’s because he’s embarrassed.   
Kuroo decides to just go ahead and say something. “Does Friday work alright?” He asks, swallowing all the other questions he has.   
“Yeah, that’d be okay.” Kenma checks the calendar on his phone. “I usually don’t have work on Friday evenings...”   
“Well, I think it’d be good for me as well...” Kuroo double checks his shifts, “Do you wanna meet somewhere?”   
“Why don’t we go to the library after class.” Kenma suggests, shrugging his shoulders a bit. “I can wait there, since I think I get off of class a little earlier than you.” He says, gulping down more water and shifting his weight to one hip. “Are you going to stay here for a while?” He asks.   
“Are you?” Kuroo asks back, crossing his legs and staring at Kenma expectantly.   
“I don’t know...” Kenma stretches out some more. His arms hurt.   
Kuroo huffs and doesn’t move. “So I see that you and Lev are getting along now.”   
“Yeah, um...” Kenma shoots a text to Bokuto, thanking him for the game before he replies to Kuroo. “I kind of watched him for a while.”   
“What do you think of him?” Kuroo tries to look happy.   
Kenma thinks for a while, “He’s obnoxious.” He answers flatly, checking to make sure that Lev has left. “But not one hundred percent awful.”   
“I see... About what I said earlier, I wasn’t calling you shitty.”   
Kenma’s eyes narrow and his whole expression shifts away from the content one that he just had. “What were you saying then?” It takes a while for either of them to say anything, but Kenma eventually goes ahead and adds, “How could that mean anything else?”   
“It’s just sad that you avoid people like that.” He has a bit of a whine to his voice, sounding frustrated.   
Kenma’s nose wrinkles up a bit at the lilt in Kuroo’s voice, normally it’d be somewhat cute but right now it’s just annoying. “It’s fine if you don’t like it.”   
Kuroo realizes that he’s not close enough to Kenma to argue with him about his choices, but thinking about that makes him realize that their relationship seems to be moving ahead strangely fast. “Let’s just leave that topic alone then,” he mumbles out, and Kenma nods. “Sorry if I hurt your feelings.”   
“It didn’t ‘hurt my feelings,’ It annoyed me.” Kenma doesn’t accept his apology.   
Kuroo laughs, “I guess that’s better than hurting your feelings.”   
All he gets in response is another squint.   
“How’s school been?” He broaches another topic after a few moments of quiet.   
Kenma’s eyes flash with anxiety, and he fumbles with his hair again. “I’m not sure, honestly. I haven’t failed anything, I guess...”   
Kuroo nods, “I’m feeling pretty much the same.” He sprawls his legs out on the grass and stares directly ahead of himself. “What subject do you think is the hardest?”   
“Anything related to physics. I took it as an open option and it’s making me want to drop out...” He says with a little puff of air at the last bit.   
“Drop out?” Kuroo’s eyes widen, “You’re joking, right?”   
“Obviously.”   
“Well... Are you taking it right now?” Kuroo asks. “I’m pretty good at math, I might be able to help you a bit.”   
Kenma shakes his head, “If it was just math I’d be fine, but there’s a lot of application type questions that trip me up on tests and assignments and stuff.” He rattles off a few more reasons, but they mostly serve to confuse Kuroo. As he talks he progressively sounds more and more upset.   
Kuroo gets a sense that Kenma might understand the course a little more than he thinks, as he lists off a bunch of aspects that he has to take into consideration and describes them at length. He decides to ignore this in favour of commiserating, though. “That’s awful, you know, I think physics was my worst subject in high school. Most people just take really basic arts courses as electives, you know,” Kuroo says, realizing that he’s actually impressed with what Kenma picked for an elective. “I think I’ll be taking an introductory Chinese course or something like that. But I’m saving most of my electives for last year so that I can relax a bit.”   
Kenma rubs his chin in thought, “It’s too late to withdraw from this course, too,” he says, redirecting the subject back to what they were originally talking about.  
“Why didn’t you take a math elective, if you’re good at that?”   
“Pure math is kind of boring.” He gives a simple answer, before elaborating a bit. “I’m pretty good at programming and stuff like that. I thought that doing something application based with math as well might be nice but it kind of blew up in my face.”   
“Do you think you’ll be able to pass it?” Kuroo asks, concerned.   
“I’ll be able to pass it, I think, but it’s just kind of...” Kenma sighs, letting his shoulders down a bit. “I don’t want to get all C’s again, you know?”   
“You’ll do fine,” Kuroo pats his shoulder.   
“I’ll do my best I guess.” He shrugs, and slumps down in the grass. “I’m tired.”   
Kuroo stares at Kenma, whose bleached hair hangs down into the grass and sways in the breeze. “I think we should get going.” He shivers a bit, the sky is getting cloudy and the wind is getting a bit cold.   
“Yeah...” Kenma says, his fingers grasping at the grass.   
Kuroo helps him up off the ground. They both dust off their shorts.   
After walking for a while, Kenma asks suddenly, “Did you actually want an apple?” His bag is heavy. Not many people took an apple.   
“Yeah, I actually did.” Kuroo says, his face pinches up. “Why would I lie about that?”   
“I don’t know, I thought you were just asking to annoy me.” Kenma tosses him a shiny red apple, and takes another one out for himself.   
“Jeez...” Kuroo realizes that Kenma isn’t actually a terribly friendly person, now that he’s getting familiar.   
Kenma looks amused.   
They take the train, and Kuroo gets off a few stops ahead of Kenma’s. He sends a text. “Remember to get off at your stop.”   
“Yep.” Kenma says, nodding off on the train.


	4. densha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A largely unedited chapter. I might come back and clean it up, but I just wanted to push this out and at least have AN update. 
> 
> I think things are starting to pick up! I hope this isn't too slow. I like it. Thanks for reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is really short and it's been a long time since an update. I apologize. :C This is also largely unedited. University has been kicking my ass :CCC  
> I'm not sure how believable the situation with the transit being unavailable is. I have a friend from Tokyo who says it's a possibility that the trains wouldn't be running very often at that time, and my other Japanese friends are from like... really 'backwater' areas by their standards...  
> Let me know, if you know! I'm genuinely curious.  
> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> I sincerely hope you enjoy it!

Kenma wakes up to a janitor nudging his shoulder. He slowly blinks and looks around, realizing that he’s nodded off on the train. “O-oh...” He looks at his phone. It’s two in the morning. His face goes numb. “Thanks,” He slowly stands up, stretching out his legs. The janitor just stares at him. Getting off the train, he hobbles onto the platform and looks around. It’s so late. ‘How am I going to get home...?’ He thinks to himself.  
There are a few drunk salarymen getting off the train as well, ambling along. As he wakes up a bit more, he wonders why he even got off the train.  
He decides to check his phone. There’s a text from Bokuto, remarking on his performance at the game, and another from a group chat he’s in with his internet friends. Then, there’s a few missed calls from his mother. Quickly, he dials her number and explains himself.  
She isn’t mad, in fact she was happy because she thought he was out with friends for once, but then she seems dismayed that it was actually just him falling asleep on the train. He promises her that he’ll be home soon.  
Then, he checks the texts from Kuroo.  
“Did you make it home yet?” He asked, the text was sent five hours ago.  
Kenma rubs his eyes, waking up a bit more because of the cold breeze coming across the platform. He’s quite far from home. He looks around and realizes that this is Kuroo’s stop. It makes him smile for some reason, and he texts, “I fell asleep on the train.” He receives a reply right away.  
“You’re joking, right? Did you just wake up?”  
“Yes and yes.” Kenma laughs to himself as he sends it, but he’s mostly just frustrated with himself.  
“How are you going to get home now?” Kuroo asks, looking out his window.  
“Not sure...” Kenma sends, and his phone starts buzzing. It’s a call from Kuroo. “Hello?”  
“Are the buses running to your house?” Kuroo asks right away.  
Kenma puts him on speaker phone and opens Maps. The train he just got off was the last one. He rubs his eyes again, this time because he’s upset with himself. “Yeah, but it comes in an hour.” He shivers, and rubs his arms. It’s starting to get quite cold at night.  
“Do you want me to come get you?” Kuroo asks, already putting his socks on.  
“I think I’ll be okay...” Kenma sighs, and then thinks about what Kuroo asked. “Come get me?”  
“You could just stay at my place for the night.” He explains.  
Kenma blushes, that’s ridiculous and embarrassing to even contemplate. “W-well, that’s nice of you but...” He glances around the station nervously, there’s someone sleeping in the sheltered area, as well as a few men stumbling around. “I think you’d be going too far out of your way.”  
“I’m gonna come get you.” Kuroo replies as if he didn’t hear. “Just wait there, it’s like a five minute walk.” He grabs an extra sweater for Kenma and steps out the door to his room, quietly making his way down the stairs and getting to the elevator.  
“Kuroo,” Kenma hears the ding of the elevator and realizes that he’s not listening. “I think that’d be a little bit much, don’t you?” He’s annoyed now, “I’ll be okay.”  
“I’m coming anyways.” He says as he gets in the elevator. The reception drops for a few seconds, and Kenma’s voice cuts out. “I didn’t quite hear that.” Kuroo says, getting out of the building and making his way towards the train platform.  
“Are you serious?” Kenma’s eyes dart around. Some of the guys are wandering towards him. He feels his fist clench, hearing Kuroo’s footsteps on the phone. “You’re really coming to get me?” Kenma asks loudly, staring at the guys that are clearly walking towards him. They back off after that. “Yes, that’s what I said.” Kuroo says, walking faster. Kenma sounds a little strange.  
“Can you just stay on the phone with me then?” Kenma sounds pleading, shuffling away from the shelter towards the corner of the platform, nearest to where Kuroo would be coming in from.  
“For sure.” Kuroo replies, picking up his pace. “Is something wrong?”  
“Not yet.”  
“That’s ominous,” Kuroo picks up his pace up even more, he’s almost running now, “Who’s with you?” His eyebrows cinch together a bit as he hears a few sets of footsteps in the background, and some talking.  
“Well, it was the last train, so a lot of people got off here.” Kenma explains hurriedly, “It’s kind of sketchy, there’s a lot of drunk guys wandering around.”  
“Sheesh, I’ll be there soon.” Kuroo says, feeling uneasy.  
“I’m so sorry...” Kenma mutters out as he takes another look around. Having someone to talk to puts him slightly more at ease, but it’s still uncomfortable. There’s strangers leering at him. “I’m going to start walking too, I think.” He says, readjusting his bag and looking over his shoulder as he starts walking down the stairs.  
“That’s a good idea.” Kuroo waits impatiently at some lights. There’s no traffic right now, but he still doesn’t want to jaywalk at night when the cops are out in droves. “Which end are you on?”  
“The one by the corner?” Kenma says, looking around for some sort of distinguishing factor. “The southbound train goes towards this end... I think.”  
Kuroo blurts out, “You really just zone out as soon as you get on the train, don’t you?”  
“I’d rather not talk about it.” Kenma says, his eyes narrowing.  
“It’s just an observation...”  
Kenma sees someone stumbling awfully close to the edge of the platform and flinches when it looks like he’s about to fall, but someone snatches his jacket and pulls him away. “I hate drunk people...” Kenma mutters, and Kuroo laughs on the other end. “What’s so funny?”  
“I’m just realizing that you’re kind of bitter today...” Kuroo remarks.  
“They’re making me anxious.” Kenma whines, “One of them almost fell on the tracks...” He hears the constant footsteps over the phone, “Are you running?”  
“Not really. Just walking fast.” Kuroo looks around. It’s cloudy out, and the city lights make the sky look brighter than it really is. “Where are you?”  
“At the lights.”  
“Can you just stay there?” Kuroo gets across the street. He can see Kenma waiting at the next set of lights and waves, “Can you see me?”  
Kenma waves back and laughs awkwardly. “Yeah.”  
“Do you still want me to stay on the phone?” Kuroo is half-jogging towards where Kenma is.  
“Nope.” Kenma says and hangs up unceremoniously.  
“Aren’t you cold?” Kuroo greets Kenma by tossing a sweater at him, shocked to see that he really is still in his t-shirt and shorts.  
He stares at the black hoodie he’s received, feeling some reservations about putting it on. Internally, he’s thinking about how sweet it is that Kuroo thought to bring a sweater, and how condescendingly large it is. “Thanks.” The embarrassment that he had to be ‘rescued’ from that situation with the train is starting to set in now that he’s a bit more warm and feeling less anxious.  
Kuroo notices that Kenma’s hair got a little messy when he put the sweater on. Without thinking about it, Kuroo reaches out to smooth out the soft little strands. It’s surprisingly thick and bouncy, but a little sticky with sweat from the game earlier. A few quiet moments of this pass, Kenma frozen in place and alarmed at the sudden contact, especially on his head. That’s quite a line to cross. But at the same time it’s something he could get used to. He leans in somewhat, letting it happen.  
He stares at his feet. “You should probably fix your own hair once in a while.” Kenma says, feeling the need to acknowledge what’s going on.  
Kuroo yanks his hand away, suddenly tuning in to the situation again. “What do you mean by that?”  
Kenma doesn’t answer.  
“S-so you’re going to stay over?” Kuroo asks.  
“Well,” Kenma finally looks up again, not sure what he should say. He definitely doesn’t feel like spending the night, especially since Kuroo lives with his parents, but he doesn’t want to be difficult or waste anyone’s time. “It’s just that-” He stops to think for a second. “I think it’d be a bit of an intrusion, don’t you? Your parents...” He shrugs.  
“They aren’t home right now.” Kuroo replies, “Otherwise I would probably just wait with you at the station until your bus came.”  
Kenma looks just slightly more agreeable now. It seems like there’s no good reason to wait for the bus now, and as he gets more tired, the idea of staying over seems more and more appealing. “Okay then...” He yawns.  
It’s surprising how tired Kenma seems, since he just slept for a few hours. A big smile stretches across his face. “I have a weird question.”  
“What’s up?” Kenma asks, looking strangely eager.  
“Now that you’ve slept on the train, is it still scary?” He asks with a laugh.  
He was hoping for Kuroo to ask something a little more interesting and a little less stupid. “I’m not going to answer that.”  
They walk back to his place and they get in the elevator. They’re pretty quiet as they make their way up to the apartment.  
“Ah,” Kenma’s handheld falls out of his pocket, making quite a sound as it hits the floor in the hallway. He winces as he picks it up, not even checking if it’s okay. The sudden noise and the thought of waking others up is a lot scarier than his thing breaking.  
“You okay?” Kuroo asks quietly as he opens the door. He’d never seen someone jump like that just from dropping something.  
Kenma nods, his eyes wide.  
“You’re so jumpy...” Kuroo remarks when they get in.  
“Yeah, I guess...” Kenma looks around. The house is very clean, and it’s very inviting with some cute plants here and there. He sticks close to Kuroo though, still feeling very awkward for coming in so late and with such short notice.  
“And this is my room,” Kuroo gestures in the door, inviting Kenma in. “It’s... boring. And messy.”  
“It’s nice. And it’s a lot tidier than mine...” Kenma thinks about the wrapper that’s been sitting just under his bed for a week and winces. He’ll have to make sure to clean up if he ever invites Kuroo over. But for now, his mind shifts entirely towards getting out of here for a second. “Um...”  
“Yes?”  
“Can I use the washroom?” Kenma asks.  
Kuroo points him towards the door across from his room.  
Kenma disappears for a while, he seems to take a long time in there.  
Kuroo starts looking for spare blankets and a futon. He starts setting up a bed for Kenma in his room, and then gets settled in at his desk. He pulls out his textbook and starts studying again, his face gradually getting more tired as he waits for Kenma to come back.  
When Kenma returns, it’s been about ten minutes. His face is wet, Kuroo guesses that he must’ve washed it when he was in there. “Wish I planned ahead,” Kenma mentions, swiping the wet strands of hair away from his face.  
“What’s wrong?” Kuroo asks, watching Kenma sit on the futon with a tired expression.  
“I don’t have anything resembling pyjamas.” He explains, settling in. His face is unusually content, a few tiny drops of water from his hair landing on his shirt. Kuroo can’t help but to think of how cats seem happy after they’ve groomed themselves.  
“You probably wouldn’t want to borrow mine.” Kuroo says, looking at how small Kenma is in his sweater. “So you can just wear that. It’s not a big deal.”  
Kenma nods.  
Kuroo goes to sit on his bed, closing his textbooks for the night and staring at the ceiling. “Now that I’ve gotten in bed I’m not tired at all.” He remarks.  
“Why not?” Kenma asks, turning to face Kuroo, who’s sprawled out.  
“I’m anxious. I have so much stuff to do.”  
Kenma is surprised by this, Kuroo didn’t seem like the type to get anxious about anything. “I can relate.” He mumbles out after a few moments of contemplation, “Third year seems so hard.”  
Kuroo glances down at Kenma, who’s craning his neck a bit to look at him. He sits up a bit, propping his shoulder up on the wall. “It’s not much worse than second year, to be honest.”  
Kenma grimaces, but doesn’t mention how he’s really feeling about college right now.  
“You seem pretty smart though, you’ll probably breeze right through if you study enough.” Kuroo remarks.  
This elicits a small laugh from Kenma.  
“What’s so funny?”  
Kenma just waves his hand dismissively he tucks himself in. “Good night Kuroo. Thanks for everything...”  
“It’s nothing.” Kuroo replies, grabbing his cell phone and checking his email. It’s quiet for a while, and he’s almost sure that Kenma’s asleep. Strangely enough, Kuroo can’t sleep at all, despite how tired he feels. “Hm...” He sighs. He peers over his shoulder at Kenma, he’s facing the other wall.  
Kenma decides to look over his shoulder. He’s surprised when his eyes meet Kuroo’s, and they stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds. “What are you doing?” He asks after a bit.  
“I was about to ask you the same thing.”  
Kenma blushes, turning away hurriedly. His eyebrows scrunch together, and he grasps at his blanket. He’s not sure what he’s feeling.  
Kuroo smiles, and turns his phone off again.  
“I’ve never actually spent the night with someone before.” Kenma suddenly mentions, when he hears Kuroo’s feet touch the ground.  
“That’s not unusual.” Kuroo replies, not sure what Kenma is trying to get at. “Especially since we live in Tokyo, and the houses are so small...”  
Kenma nods, looking at what Kuroo is doing. He sits up, and sees Kuroo pulling his chair out again. “What are you doing?”  
“Don’t mind me, I’m just gonna look at my notes again...” Kuroo sighs, turning the small lamp at his desk on. “If it’s too bright let me know.”  
“No, it’s fine,” Kenma mutters, pulling the blanket over his head. “Why are you doing this at two in the morning, though?” He asks, hearing the pencil scratch at the paper.  
“I can’t sleep.”  
Kenma peeks out to see Kuroo flipping through pages of his textbook and rubbing his forehead. “Me too.” He pauses, taking in the way Kuroo’s shoulders look from behind. He seems a lot more substantial when he isn’t wearing an apron or a baggy sweater. “Isn’t there something a little less stressful to get up to at two in the morning?”  
“I think studying will make me tired, is all.” Kuroo tries to absolve himself of Kenma’s questioning, but it doesn’t work.  
“You plan to bore yourself to sleep?”  
Kuroo looks over his shoulder to see a faint outline of Kenma underneath the thin blanket. “Weren’t you trying to go to bed?” He closes his books again and rubs his eyebrows.  
Kenma peeks out. Again, they’re looking at each other.  
Kuroo stretches his arms out and yawns, his mouth seems unnaturally wide. He decides to look at his phone for a while, and sees Kenma pull out his handheld again. “Are you playing that monster game again?”  
Kenma nods.  
“Can I watch you?” Kuroo asks.  
“The screen is kind of small, but okay...” Kenma sits up straight, and Kuroo sits beside him. He can faintly feel Kuroo’s breath in his hair. He scoots a bit so Kuroo can see, and provides some quiet commentary.  
“That’s kind of an awkward position,” Kuroo says, noticing how Kenma’s elbow is perched on his knee at a weird angle.  
“Well I’m trying to make sure you can see.” Kenma explains, pausing the game.  
Kuroo suggests that they go sit on the bed, and while Kenma opposes it, they eventually end up there anyway. He has his chin on a pillow, with his arms underneath it, and he plays like that on his stomach. Kuroo is lying down beside him, watching him play. It looks a little too complicated, and despite Kenma’s efforts to try and get him to try it out, he refuses.  
“So you’re trying to kill it?” Kuroo asks.  
“Why else would I be swinging a sword at it?” Kenma answers listlessly, feeling his eyelids get heavy. “I’m a little tired...”  
“Me too.” Kuroo says, pulling the blanket over himself as well.  
It feels really warm with Kuroo underneath as well. He wishes this had happened when he wasn’t so tired. “Did you want me to go to bed?” Kenma asks.  
“No, I just got cold.” Kuroo says, reaching up to the window and pulling it shut. He pulls his socks off with his toes and kicks them off the bed. It makes Kenma laugh.  
“Let me know when you want to go to sleep though.” Kenma says, hoping to distance himself from how much he’s enjoying this situation. It seems too good for him to really bask in it, and his hands are a bit shaky as he fiddles with the buttons. The strange combination of exhaustion and anxiety washes over him, like getting no sleep but drinking a whole pot of coffee. It’s a bit more enjoyable than that, though. He beats a boss level that he’d been struggling with, and he attributes the success to his audience. The flash of excitement in his eyes is similar to the one that he got when his serves to Lev started connecting.  
Kuroo enjoys watching Kenma fall asleep and jolt awake again as he plays his game, but he suddenly feels the need to say something. “I’m sorry about being so pushy earlier.”  
“Why are you bringing this up now?” Kenma replies instantly, not giving it any thought. He sees Kuroo’s very stiff looking expression, it’s as if he’s looking hard for something.  
There’s a long pause in the conversation. Everything seems to linger for just a bit too long.  
It’s hard for Kuroo to process what Kenma has said. What a loaded question, what did he mean by ‘now’? “I just realized that I was being way too pushy about it.” He explains further, turning onto his back and staring at the ceiling. It’s hard not to just stare at his friend.  
Kenma doesn’t reply at all.  
Kuroo looks over, and his friend is asleep.  
The screen of his game sheds a little light on his soft face, and his fingers twitch in his light sleep. It’s hard for Kuroo to turn the screen off.


	5. heya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Kuroo takes Kenma out on an impromptu 'date'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's a bit short haha  
> and i'm sorry for abandoning this. university is out for now so i guess i'll be posting over the summer, hopefully i'll have it wrapped up by the time that school starts up again. thanks for your patience.

“Kuroo...” Kenma nudges him until he wakes up. “It’s morning.”  
Kuroo blinks awake, surprised to see that it is still dark out. He pats around on the bed for his phone and checks the time. “It’s five...” The brightness of the screen hurts his eyes and he fumbles to turn it off. Pulling the blanket up to his chin, he asks, “What are you doing up so early?”  
“It’s not that early.”  
Kuroo stares at the ceiling, and then looks at Kenma. He’s sitting up, he looks wide awake and he’s on his phone. “How long have you been awake for?”  
“About an hour.” Kenma answers quietly, “I slept a lot yesterday so now I’m not tired at all.”  
“Are you hungry?”  
“Not really.” Kenma already had an apple from his bag.  
“Hm...” Kuroo turns so that he’s facing the wall. “I’m gonna go back to sleep.” He yawns. “Today’s Sunday right?”  
“Yes.”  
“You should try to go back to sleep.” Kuroo mutters out, falling back to sleep almost immediately.  
Kenma notices that Bokuto is active on LINE, which comes as a bit of a surprise. As soon as he’s about to message him, Kenma notices the little chat bubble in his messages is blinking. He hurriedly exits the chat and waits for the notification.  
“What are you doing awake?” Is the message, accompanied by a stamp of a curious looking owl.  
“I went to bed really early last night.” Kenma texts back, intentionally waiting a minute or so to look ‘busy.’ It’s partially the truth, even though it wasn’t necessarily a ‘bed’ that he was in. ‘I passed out for a few hours on the train’ isn’t exactly a flattering thing to share with his friend. “What are you doing awake?”  
“I’m going to work.” Bokuto messages back a few minutes later.  
“Oh. I’ll let you go then.” Kenma replies, and turns his phone off. He sighs and stares at the ceiling, bored. The screen lights up again.  
It’s a stamp from Bokuto, of an owl waving bye. 

He spends the rest of the morning playing on his handheld, waiting for Kuroo to wake back up. It seems to drag on for a long time, and even though he had his game to distract him, it was still hard not to think about waking Kuroo up again. There’s the awkwardness of being in someone’s room where they’re sleeping, as well as the weird feeling in his chest that he gets whenever he looks over at Kuroo. He wants to spend more time with him, even though he’s been abnormally present for the past while anyway.  
Kuroo wakes up at eight, his hair even messier than before and his face is pinched into a scowl. “It’s too hot in here.” He reaches over and bats at the window a few times with an open hand, finding the edge and whipping it open without looking. It makes quite a loud noise when it hits the other side of the window sill, and it startles both of them. “Didn’t mean to do that...”  
Kenma watches incredulously, surprised at his awful morning mood. “D-did you want me to go?”  
“No no no.” Kuroo waves his hand and scratches his head. “I’m not much of a morning person.”  
“I can see that.” Kenma laughs, turning off his game.  
Kuroo slips off to the washroom, quickly washes his face and brushes his teeth. It wakes him up a bit. Then, he tries to comb his hair out a bit. It’s difficult, his pillows have effectively moulded it into a stupid-looking mohawk shape. Deciding today is a hat day, he gives up on it.  
“Kuroo,” Kenma knocks on the door. His voice sounds a little tense.  
“Yeah?” Kuroo opens the door a crack, surprised at Kenma’s tone.  
“Your phone alarm has been going off for a few minutes and I don’t know how to turn it off.” He pushes the phone through the crack in the door.  
“Oh.” Kuroo takes his phone, letting the door open. He turns the alarm off, and Kenma stands there looking at him. “Was there something else?” He asks Kenma, turning away slightly as he’s embarrassed about the way his hair is looking.  
Kenma shrugs, “I guess I’m a little hungry...”  
“Ah, me too.” Kuroo tries one more time to calm his hair down as he realizes that Kenma isn’t going away. “Do you wanna go get something for breakfast?”  
Kenma’s face lightens up a bit, before returning to the same deadpan expression he had, and he answers. “Yeah.”  
“Let me get dressed and we can figure something out.” He exits the washroom past Kenma, who shuffles out of the way. “Here.” He tosses Kenma a white t-shirt.  
“Thanks...” Kenma holds it out, it looks too small to be Kuroo’s. He doesn’t ask who it belongs to, a bit afraid of what the answer might be. He sneaks to the washroom and quickly changes into the shirt and his shorts. He comes out to see Kuroo sitting on the bed in a beanie, it looks really cute. He’s all dressed already.  
“I think that’s a bit too big, you should tuck it in.” Kuroo says after looking at Kenma and laughing.  
Kenma nods, tucking the shirt into his shorts. “Does this look better?”  
“Yep, a bit.” Kuroo rubs his chin. “It’s a bit chilly out though.”  
“I can just wear that hoodie.” Kenma says, taking his coat out of his backpack. He gives it a quick sniff before throwing it on.  
Kuroo blinks at him, a bit shocked. “Do you do this... regularly?”  
“What?”  
“Sniff-test your clothes?”  
“No.” Kenma shakes his head vehemently. “Only when absolutely necessary.”  
Kuroo sighs with relief, glad that he’s not the only one that occasionally does that. Sometimes he can’t bring himself to do the laundry, and he’s a bit ashamed of that. He looks at Kenma critically, realizing that the black sweater and black shorts create a strange silhouette on Kenma. “Those don’t go together though.”  
Kenma feels a bit bristly, feeling like Kuroo is being too harsh. He puts his hands on his hips, asking “Why do you care?”  
Surprised again, Kuroo’s shoulders go up a bit. “I dunno.” He mutters.  
“It’s not like you have a horse in this race...” He mumbles, going back to the washroom and looking at what he’s wearing. Even though Kuroo is definitely right about the hoodie and shorts not working together very well, he didn’t need to be so blunt about it.  
“Here.” Kuroo hands Kenma a pair of jeans.  
Kenma holds them out in the same manner as the t-shirt. “Wh- whose are these...?” He finally asks, wondering why he has such a small pair of jeans sitting around.  
“My mom won’t let me throw out my old clothes.” Kuroo says, “Just get changed.”  
“Sheesh, okay...” Kenma wonders if it’s just a morning thing for Kuroo. The jeans just barely fit him, he has to roll up the cuffs. He exits, waiting for a critique.  
“Looks much better.” Kuroo pats his head in the same manner as last night.  
Kenma stands there, letting it happen the same as last time.. He wonders if Kuroo pats everyone like this, he doesn’t seem to register that it’s a bit intimate, It seems natural to him, as if patting someone’s head was the same sort of task as tying one’s shoes or hanging up keys. He doesn’t mind it.  
Meanwhile, Kuroo feels a bit blessed that Kenma doesn’t seem to mind it. It’s just that his hair is really soft and fine, and it looks like a pudding cup. He wanted to do it the first time he saw Kenma, and the want has only grown in severity as time went by. He decides not to overextend his leeway with Kenma and returns his hand to his side, before readjusting his shirt and turning to the door.  
“Thanks for lending me your clothes, by the way.” Kenma says, realizing that he’s wearing a bunch of Kuroo’s stuff. “I really didn’t think I’d be spending the night.”  
“It’s not a big deal.” Kuroo fixes his hat and walks out.  
Kenma follows after him. He hesitates before putting his shoes on, wondering if Kuroo is going to comment on those as well. He laughs to himself before slipping them on, there’s no way that Kuroo could complain about plain black sneakers. And even if it’s a problem, their shoe sizes are clearly worlds apart. “It is kind of chilly.” Kenma looks at his phone, checking the weather as Kuroo ties his shoes up.  
“It seems like it’s going to rain.” Kuroo opens the door for Kenma and he locks it behind them, tucking his wallet into his pocket.  
“Shit, I forgot my bag.” Kenma says.  
“It’s all good,” He walks down the hall toward the elevator. Kenma sighs and catches up, and they wait for the lift. “This weather’s nice though, I like it better when it isn’t too hot out.”  
“I think everyone’s like that...” Kenma mumbles, and the elevator dings. He’s surprised that Kuroo doesn’t take the stairs, he gives off the impression of being very active and conscious of that sort of thing. “This is a really nice building.” He remarks, looking around the elevator.  
“They renovated some of the stuff...” Kuroo shrugs. “It’s a good area too.”  
“Yeah...”  
They shuffle out, and Kuroo walks slightly ahead of Kenma on the way to get breakfast.  
“There’s a little cafe near here,” Kuroo says, looking over his shoulder. He’s a bit nervous about the venue they’re going to, it’s actually kind of well known as a spot for dates.  
“Sounds good,” Kenma has to walk more quickly than usual to keep up.  
The sidewalks in Kuroo’s neighbourhood are always a bit busy at this time of day, people bustling around to get shopping done. There are many couples, walking hand in hand.  
Kuroo looks over his shoulder once more and takes Kenma’s arm, pulling him so they’re walking beside each other. He slows down so Kenma can keep up properly, and they walk together to the cafe that Kuroo mentioned.  
They get inside and the warm air, the smell of coffee, and the sounds of quiet conversation hit Kenma all at once. It’s nice, almost too nice for this to be a casual spot for some breakfast. His face gets a little red, but not enough for Kuroo to take note, thankfully. The cafe reminds Kenma of where Kuroo works, but it’s more cozy and the music playing is less poppy and more jazzy. The tables are small and only seat two, and there aren’t very many people there. Kenma’s eyes flick around, the patrons don’t seem to notice him, thankfully. He looks to Kuroo, who seems sheepish now. He shuffles in behind Kuroo at the till. He lets Kuroo order for him, and they wait for their coffees.  
“Why don’t you pick somewhere to sit?” Kuroo suggests, but Kenma just shakes his head. He sighs and looks at his phone, wondering what would make Kenma less nervous. “Should we get this to go?” Kuroo asks as a somewhat disheartened look washes over his face. He just gets a shrug in response. “What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing.” Kenma pulls his phone out, avoiding looking at Kuroo.  
“Are you nervous?” Kuroo asks quietly.  
Kenma shakes his head. He gives a tiny little smile, but it doesn’t serve to reassure Kuroo at all.  
“Okay...”  
He notices that Kuroo looks skeptical, and it just serves to make him more anxious. “I’m okay.” He nods in a reaffirming sort of way, before returning his attention to his phone again.  
The barista hands them their food and they go to sit, picking a spot that’s somewhat out of view and has dim, warm lighting. Kenma looks in the little paper bag that Kuroo got.  
“How much do I owe you?” Kenma asks, and Kuroo waves the question off. “Thanks...” He folds his hands up in his lap.  
Kuroo smiles and pulls a bagel out of the bag. “These are nice and salty.” He remarks.  
Kenma nods, looking in the bag and seeing a little pastry. He pulls it out and sees that it’s filled with apples, and he smiles. There’s of course some coffee.  
“Did you have a good sleep?” Kuroo asks, holding the mug in his hands to warm them up a bit. The umbrella was really cold in his hands.  
“Yeah, I did.” Kenma nods. “Somehow.”  
“Somehow?”  
“Well, I slept all day on the train...”  
“Well, I guess that wouldn’t help.” Kuroo fiddles with the paper bag as he looks at Kenma’s face. “Do you have any siblings?” He asks, hoping to make a conversation.  
“No, you?”  
“Nope.” Kuroo shakes his head. There’s a bit of silence, he’s not sure how to talk to Kenma. There’s never been a whole lot of small talk between them, and while he personally doesn’t mind this, it seems like an obligation. His phone dings. “Hm?” He looks, to see that he has a text from Bokuto. He turns his ringtone off.  
“I guess he’s on break now...” Kenma mumbles, seeing that his phone has a notification as well from Bokuto.  
“Oh, you two talk a lot?” Kuroo asks, a little surprised.  
“Not a lot...” Kenma flips his phone over so he can’t see the screen when he gets messages. “For some reason I get the impression that he’s lonely.” He says, sighing.  
“Nah, he just texts a lot, even when he’s out with friends. Which he always is.” Kuroo explains. “I don’t understand how he keeps his grades up, honestly.”  
“Some people are just smart.” Kenma replies bitterly.  
“I don’t think so.” Kuroo wants to move the topic away from school. “I think he just gets help from his friends with studying.”  
Kenma nods, “I kind of wish I had someone like that.” He has a bite of his pastry, and he’s a bit surprised by how gooey it is.  
“I wish we were taking a course together.” Kuroo blurts out.  
Kenma glances up at him, registering how strange the comment sounded, but not wanting to bring that up. “I guess that’d be nice, so you could help me.”  
Kuroo nods, glad that Kenma spared him the embarrassment of asking for clarification. “Yeah,” He crosses his legs under the table, bumping Kenma’s shin with his foot.. “Sorry.”  
“That’s fine.” Kenma tucks his legs in closer.  
They eat, mostly silent, neither of them sure what to talk about. Kenma doesn’t feel like texting people while he’s out with Kuroo would be very nice, and it doesn’t even cross Kuroo’s mind to check his phone. So they just sit there eating, one occasionally scanning the other’s face when the other isn’t looking.  
“I’m still kinda hungry...” Kuroo eyes the crumbs on the table, finding the thought of going back to get more food embarrassing for some reason. “I normally have a really big breakfast.”  
Kenma nibbles on his pastry. “I normally don’t even eat breakfast.”  
“That’s bad for you.” Kuroo advises.  
“True...” Kenma sighs, rubbing his forehead, “That could change though.”  
“I’m gonna go get a sandwich,” Kuroo says, getting up and leaving Kenma alone at the table. He returns with two sandwiches, and it makes Kenma feel bad that he spent more money. “These are good.” He pushes one toward Kenma, who isn’t finished his pastry yet.  
“Thank you...” Kenma’s eyebrows tilt towards each other, he’s feeling worried because he isn’t even hungry anymore. “I could really use to eat breakfast more often, honestly.” The only reason he felt hungry is because he woke up so early in the morning, but even just a coffee would have been enough to make that go away.  
“Yeah, that would be better.” Kuroo puts his chin in his hand, watching Kenma fidget with his hair. “Are you feeling a little less nervous now?”  
Kenma awkwardly sets his pastry down, taking a deep breath. Kuroo must have not believed him when he said he was feeling okay at the till. He takes the question a bit more seriously now, assessing how he feels. He decides, “Yeah, actually, I feel okay now.” The anxious feeling he had earlier seems not to have went away, but it feels less dreadful and more excited.  
“That’s really good.” Kuroo looks around the room behind himself, and Kenma notices that his fingers are trembling. Shakily, Kuroo reaches a hand out and takes Kenma’s hand in his, giving his fingers a little squeeze before resting them together on the table.  
Kenma hastily picks his coffee up with his other hand and blinks nervously, not wanting to withdraw his hand, but feeling extremely overwhelmed. His heart thuds and he feels a bit shaky. He only manages to sputter out, “Kuroo?”  
Kuroo whips his hand back to his side. “Sorry,” He coughs nervously.  
“No, that was fine,” Kenma mumbles out. “If you want to,” He fans his fingers out on the table before curling them up again.  
Kuroo puts his hand on Kenma’s again, running his thumb up and down the side of it.  
Kenma smiles, moving his thumb to meet Kuroo’s. It’s surprisingly soft, and he laces his fingers between his friend’s.  
He can feel Kenma’s pulse in his fingers, which is quite fast and strong. He doesn’t know how to feel about that – his heart is racing too, but Kenma is an extremely anxious person. He seems to feel these sorts of things a lot stronger than most. “Are you gonna answer Bokuto?” He asks, seeing that Kenma’s phone is reminding him that he got a message. Kenma shakes his head and doesn’t say anything. “Me neither...” He shrugs, looking around again.  
A man and a woman sit down near them, and Kuroo withdraws his hand from Kenma’s with a disappointed look on his face. “I guess I should get back to him, actually.” Kuroo opens his phone and quickly taps out a message to Bokuto.  
Kenma follows suit.  
“You work at McDonald’s right? Do you think you could get me a job?” The message reads.  
“Yep, and I don’t like it a whole lot.” Kenma replies. “Why?”  
“Damn, Bokuto quit his job...” Kuroo says, as if to answer the question in Kenma’s head. “That’s gotta be stressful.”  
“He asked me if I could help get him a job.” He says, putting his phone down. He gets started eating his sandwich, which is quite tasty. Halfway through, he puts it down, leaning back in his seat. “I’m really full...” He says, looking at the two neatly quartered sections of his sandwich that remain. “Do you want to finish it?”  
Kuroo shrugs, picking up a piece of the sandwich and nibbling at it. “I’m probably not gonna be able to.”  
Kenma sighs, looking at the couple beside them, feeling a bit resentful that they’re able to hold hands in public. He looks back at Kuroo, who seems to be thinking the same thing, a bitter look on his face. “Bokuto doesn’t live with his parents anymore, right?”  
“Nope.” Kuroo taps his fingers on the table, glancing down at his phone and then to the door. “Do you want to get going?”  
“Sure...” Kenma gets up, tucking his phone in the pocket of his sweater and standing up. “I should head home soon, all my textbooks are there and I gotta study.”  
Kuroo nods, crumpling up the paper bag and dusting any crumbs he has off his jeans. “I could probably use to look over things again.”  
As they exit, the barista thanks them, and when Kuroo opens the door he holds it open for Kenma. Outside, it’s still just as busy, but now there’s clouds rolling in and they look dark, so they walk back to Kuroo’s place in a hurry.  
Kenma packs his things up, thanking Kuroo for all his help. It feels strange to think that all this took place within twenty-four hours, it seems like their relationship has shifted quite a bit since they went to that game together. Whether that’s a good thing or not remains to be seen for Kenma, but it definitely feels nice for now. He slings his bag over his shoulder, leaving a few apples behind, and his bag feels a bit lighter for it. When he gets his shoes on to leave, he takes his time and chats with Kuroo a bit at the door, before leaving for the train station.


	6. denwa

Kuroo stares at the door after Kenma leaves, almost regretting what he did. He feels a bit sneaky, as if he tricked Kenma into a date, but at the same time it didn’t seem like Kenma _hated_ it. But the guilt still remains, and he wishes he just waited for them to get dinner together in a week like they had planned. When he gets back to his room, he can’t stop looking at his phone every ten minutes or so. He rolls onto his stomach, feeling exhausted already even though it’s only been about two hours since he woke up. He smiles weakly at the thought that Kenma is wearing his sweater, and he looked really cute in it too. His hand goes to his chest, hoping that he isn’t just being tolerated by Kenma, who hasn’t overtly shown any interest outside of messaging in a friendly way. He hears his phone beep. 

It’s Kenma. “Hey, I think I left my charging cable for my handheld at your place.”

Kuroo looks over to the wall and sure enough, Kenma’s cable is plugged into his wall by the nightstand. “Yeah, you did.”

“Do you mind bringing it with you to the uni on Monday?”

“For sure.” Kuroo tucks it into his book bag and sits back down. “I’ll be working at 4 ‘til 9 so if you want to stop by the cafe and get it that’d be good.” He texts.

“Thanks, I’ll come by. And thanks again for breakfast, that was really nice of you.” Kenma replies.

“No problem,” Kuroo replies,  lying down on his side . For some reason, his guilty feelings only get bigger when Kenma thanks him.  He can’t seem to get an enthusiastic response from Kenma for anything he does, he’s only obliged, and it makes him feel strangely predatory. He feels like he just might be as anxious as Kenma  when it comes to things like this. 

He has a hard time going to sleep that night, it’s difficult to try and think of anything other than whether Kenma actually likes him back or not. The question has been weighing on him all day. It makes him toss and turn, and he has a strange dream where Kenma and him are on the train, but Kenma is ignoring him no matter what he does. He eventually wakes up in the middle of the night, feeling panicked, and he can’t seem to make the dream go away when he goes back to sleep.

He wakes up and he’s glad that he was at least able to get out of bed on time. It’s been hard to get up and off to school lately, let alone when he can barely motivate himself to open his eyes. As he walks to the train station, he realizes that he forgot Kenma’s charger. He sprints back home and gets it, receiving a strange look from some people on the sidewalk. It doesn’t matter to him, it feels good when he makes it back to the station on time to catch the train with the charger in his bag. Kuroo checks his phone and sees that there’s some notifications from Bokuto, they text while he’s on the way to the campus.

“Kenma is trying to get me a job at McDonald’s.” Bokuto sends.

“That’s awesome.” Kuroo is slightly miffed that Bokuto didn’t even ask about getting a job at the cafe. “If that doesn’t work out I could probably ask my manager about it.”

“Yeah...” Bokuto sends back, dreading the thought about working at that cafe. It’s not entirely because of Kuroo, but he does seem a little ‘intense’ about his job and Bokuto has heard a lot of rants about his coworkers.

“I think it’d be a better job than McDonald’s at least.” Kuroo sends back.

“It’s just that McDonald’s seems less taxing in a way,” Bokuto replies diplomatically. “And Kozume is there so I can do some scouting for you.”

Kuroo sighs, pressing the ‘off’ button on his phone as more people board the train. When it arrives on campus he gets off, and replies to Bokuto as he goes up the escalator. “I think we’ve graduated from the ‘scouting’ stage.”

“Oh? What happened?”

“I don’t really wanna talk about it over text, or at all really.” Kuroo laughs, turning his phone off again as he walks to class. He doesn’t want to think about it a lot, knowing that he’s already having a hard time focusing on anything lately. The class is as boring as usual, and he feels a little tense as the professor drones on about global economies. His mind wanders to all sorts of places, and he doodles in the corner of his notebook.

When he finally gets out of his first class he notices that there’s texts from several different people.

“Did you two do it?” Bokuto asked, and he followed it up a few minutes later with, “Sorry, had to ask.”

It makes Kuroo want to launch his phone away as fast as possible.  “No, God, shut up.” 

“ Well, then what’s so secret about it?” 

“Let’s talk in person about it sometime.” Kuroo sends, and he gets a thumbs up in response.

The other messages are from a group chat, mostly about having another volleyball game and some things from his parents. He quickly sends a reply to the messages and makes his way to his regular library to study in between this class and the next.

His phone vibrates in his pocket as he’s studying, but he decides to ignore it in favour of reading his textbooks. For about an hour, he’s able to buckle down and actually learn a few things, but it goes away quickly. He just wants to check his phone, but he knows that if he does he’ll end up wasting an hour or so. When it’s time for him to get to his next class, he checks it to see that Kenma has messaged him.

“I hope you get a pie warmed up for me when I come to see you.” He sent about an hour ago.

“Of course.” Kuroo sends back, laughing a bit at his phone. He doesn’t get a reply back, presumably because Kenma is in class.

After his classes end, Kuroo hurries to the cafe and spends most of his shift waiting for Kenma to come by and pick up his charger, but he’s surprised to see Daishou come through the door with him.

“Hi,” Kenma stands behind the counter, and Daishou stands close behind him.

“Hello,” Kuroo presses his lips into a straight line, glancing at Daishou.

Kenma gives him a pleading look, but says “Just the usual please,” in a very normal tone.

Kuroo gives him a curt nod, and warms him up a pie and makes a coffee. “I have your charger in my bag,” He says, looking in the back and grabbing the cable. When he passes the charger over the counter he receives a cold look from Daishou.

“Thank you,” Kenma says, looking nervously at the two, before going to sit by himself at a table in the corner.

Begrudgingly, Kuroo serves Kenma’s friend as well, and he’s glad that their orders are separate.

There aren’t a whole lot of other customers in the cafe aside from Daishou and Kenma. Kuroo knows it’s awful to feel this jealous of them getting coffee and studying together, but it also worries him. Why Kenma is being nice to him after what happened is completely baffling. He sits down on one of the stools behind the coffee bar and gets a book out. His manager is hiding out in the back room, and he’s glad for that, because Kenma has been a source of discussion between his coworkers.

“Kuroo,” Kenma appears in front of the counter.

Kuroo looks up from his book and blinks at Kenma, who appears to feel very awkward. It’s pretty clear that he’s aware of the problem. “Yeah?”

“We’re not on a date or anything, I just asked him for help with a study question.” Kenma says very quietly, and Kuroo nods. “Are you mad at me?”

“No. ‘Course not.” Kuroo folds his hands in his lap. “Just a little worried.”

Kenma points his eyes at the floor, and taps his foot. “Well, he’s gonna leave soon. I don’t think he’s that interested in me anymore, to be honest.”

Kuroo nods again, feeling embarrassed that Kenma knows exactly what’s wrong. He hopes that he doesn’t seem jealous or controlling, even though he can’t help feeling like that’s what he’s being. “That’s cool.”

Kenma turns around without a word and goes to sit down with Daishou, who has his nose in a textbook. It seems like they’re still friendly, but it doesn’t look the same as last time.

Eventually, Daishou leaves, and Kenma comes back to the counter looking sheepish. “Are you sure you’re not upset? You looked like you wanted to fight him or something...”

Kuroo shakes his head, “I’m not sure what to say about it. I’m just worried that he’s stringing you along or something like that.” He explains carefully, “I don’t like him at all.” He honestly wants Kenma to go, his manager is peeking around the corner and giving him a ‘look.’

“I see.” Kenma looks over his shoulder when the door opens.

“Hey!” It’s Bokuto, with a heavy looking backpack on his shoulders. He walks in and gives Kenma an awkward pat on the back before ordering a black coffee. “You said you wanted to talk in person?”

Kuroo rubs his eyes, frustrated, “Not right _now,”_ He says firmly, pouring a coffee. His eye is twitching in frustration. “Look, I’m _working_ right now, you two need to go sit or get out.”

Kenma squints at Kuroo, and goes to get his bag. It hurts a bit to be shooed off, but at the same time it’s understandable to him. His manager is probably going to give him hell about it, so Kenma hurries out, even if it’s hard for him to leave. But he notices that Bokuto and Kuroo are still talking, which makes him a bit jealous. Why isn’t Bokuto a problem, but he is? He goes to sit at the park and pulls his phone out, setting his coffee on the bench beside himself. It’s hard to shake the bitter feeling of being kicked out of the cafe, especially by someone who has an inordinate bearing on his emotions. He sighs, realizing that his feelings for Kuroo have grown a lot more than expected.

Meanwhile, back at the cafe, Kuroo is still talking to Bokuto. He feels awful, Kenma looked really sad when he walked out. Of course, Bokuto didn’t listen to Kuroo’s request, and he still stands in front of the counter, pestering away.

Bokuto knows it’s bad, but the managers never say anything about it, and Kuroo never tells him off about it.

To Kuroo, it was more so a problem with Kenma being there, rather than Bokuto. His coworkers make up wild stories about and sometimes pick on for being so awkward, which is upsetting for Kuroo to hear. Additionally, there have been several in jokes about him and Kuroo, and everyone he works with has a theory on what’s going on between them. As expected, a few of them think there’s something romantic going on, but they mostly joke about it at Kuroo’s expense instead of actually asking about it or taking his feelings seriously.

“So you two didn’t do anything?” Bokuto asks, grinning.

Kuroo takes a deep breath before speaking. “Nothing serious,” He says, washing up some coffee mugs and trying to appear busy. “We went to get some breakfast together and I held his hand.”

“Ooo, was it soft?” Bokuto perks up as he asks his weird question.

“Not particularly...” Kuroo looks over his shoulder at the back room, silently willing Bokuto to quiet down. “It wasn’t like a girl hand, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“I see... Then what’s wrong?”

“The problem is that he only seemed anxious and nothing else.” Kuroo explains, “I feel like he’s just tolerating me, or something like that.”

“Well that’s no good,” Bokuto sighs, setting his mug down on the counter. “There’s not much you can do if he just isn’t into it.”

Kuroo sighs loudly, looking again at the back. Bokuto has no concept of volume control, and whenever he does try to quiet down he makes it extremely obvious that there’s something ‘secret’ going on. His manager has disappeared again, thankfully.

He turns back to Bokuto, and tries to ask for advice in a roundabout way, without having to overtly ask. That’s something he isn’t willing to come to terms with - asking Bokuto for dating advice is something that he would have never considered possible until recently. “He’s really confusing me. I think he genuinely doesn’t care whether I’m there or not. Or it’s like I scare him and he doesn’t want to upset me.” All he ever sees is Kenma looking nervous.

“Yikes...” Bokuto says, fidgeting with his hands and looking apprehensive. “I don’t think it’s like _that.”_

Kuroo eyes him, putting the cups on the rack to dry. “Well, that’s how it seems to me.”  He notices that Bokuto seems stressed out. He guesses that this is because Bokuto is somehow the relay point of the relationship, and he feels a bit guilty that his friend has fallen into this responsibility. “It’s not really your problem, I don’t want to put this on you.” 

Bokuto nods, and picks his cup back up. He wonders to himself if this is going to become a big problem for them – Kuroo’s self doubt has been a big factor in any interpersonal issues he’s had. “I’ll try and talk to him at least.” He stands there awkwardly, thinking about how Kenma can’t stop asking weirdly specific questions about Kuroo, or the fact that he discussed Kuroo’s hand at length yesterday. He considers showing Kuroo those messages for a brief moment, before deciding that it’d be a monumental overstep. He gets his book bag and heads out. He stands around the corner, thinking about what to say to Kenma about what just happened, but he decides that it isn’t really his business to meddle with them.

Kuroo finishes his shift up and tries to work extra hard, since his friends came and distracted him. He sees that he doesn’t have a message from Kenma, which is weird since they’ve been texting all week.  It stings a bit. When he gets home he lies down in his bed and tries not to think about it.  He wants to message Kenma but he’s afraid of what the response would be, so he doesn’t. 

It’s the same for Kenma.

The week passes by  _very_ slowly for the both of them,  neither of them feeling brave enough to message the other. Kenma realizes that he’s blowing this out of proportion, but his feelings go from nervousness to feeling bitter that Kuroo hasn’t sent him so much as a ‘how’s it going’ in a few days. 

Kenma is looking at his phone on Thursday evening, wondering if Kuroo still wants to go for shioyaki with him. It seems like this would seem a bit odd to do. He hasn’t even stopped by the cafe, and he worries that Kuroo would be mad at him for finally asking after all this time. He grabs his phone and opens his messages to Kuroo, and sends a ‘Hi,’ before turning his screen off and leaving his phone screen down on the nightstand. His heart is thumping, his nerves feel like they’re made of lead. His phone vibrates but he’s afraid to check it.

“Hi,” Kuroo sent back.

Kenma says “um...” out loud before typing out a few different drafts of his intended message before giving up. He wants to know if they’re still going on Friday.

“How are you?” Kuroo sends a few minutes after, confused as to why Kenma sent him ‘hi’ without any follow up.

Kenma squints at his phone, why is he being so cordial? “I’m alright, you?”

“Just alright? I’m okay.”

“I’m a little worried.” Kenma sends off, squeezing his phone in his hand.

“What’s wrong?”

“I dunno.” Kenma pretends like he forgot about Friday. He frowns at the screen and decides to go to bed, letting his phone ding a few times without checking it. Eventually, he manages to doze off, not feeling great about ignoring his friend. It hurts quite a bit but it doesn’t hurt as much as pretending that he’s okay with how things have been going. He feels a little burned that Kuroo hasn’t mentioned their plans either, but maybe he’ll ask tomorrow morning, or something.

When he wakes up he sees that Kuroo wasn’t even the one messaging, instead it’s Bokuto who was messaging him and he seems a little upset.

“What’s going on between you and Kuroo?” He asked at around ten, followed by a few stamps and finally a “Hey!”

“He hasn’t been messaging me.” Kenma sends back, gathering his textbooks and his laptop into his backpack.

“Hm...” Bokuto replies.

Kenma feels his face get red and he becomes a bit tense, and then his phone rings. It’s Bokuto. “What’s up?” He says casually, holding his phone to his ear with his shoulder while he makes coffee.

“Didn’t you and Kuroo have plans for today?” Bokuto asks, his voice sounding a bit hoarse. He clears his throat a few times, it sounds like he just woke up.

Kenma hears a loud thud, and it sounds like someone is with Bokuto. “Yikes, what was that?”

“I just walked into my nightstand.” Bokuto says hurriedly, and Kenma can hear him closing a door. “Anyways, what’s going on?” He says, and there’s a voice in the background.

“I said, he hasn’t been messaging me.” Kenma replies, now he can all sorts of noise on the other end.

“He told me you were acting weird.” Bokuto gets himself some water and sits at his table. “Like you messaged him for no reason last night and you seemed strange.”

“I messaged him but I didn’t know what to say to him...” Kenma admits, sitting down at the kitchen table, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. “I wanted to ask about what we were doing on Friday but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him about it, I thought maybe he didn’t want to go anymore.” He realizes his eyes are watering up and he regrets answering the phone.

“Well...” Bokuto huffs and puffs on the other end of the call, before speaking up again, very quietly. “I’m not supposed to tell you this but Kuroo definitely wants to go and you should message him.”

“Oh.” Kenma nods even though Bokuto can’t see it. “I think I will then...”

“Good.” Bokuto looks at the couch where Kuroo is sleeping.

“I gotta go to class.” Kenma says, “Bye.”

“Bye bye!”

He pours himself a coffee and sits down in the living room, considering skipping class. He sighs, realizing that since his parents aren’t home today he could probably get away without being questioned, so he does. The hours that he’s supposed to be spending in class go by quite quickly, and he feels incredibly guilty about playing videogames instead of learning something useful. He takes a bath and has a nap, finding it a lot easier to sleep now that he knows he hasn’t been entirely forgotten about, but it still sucks that Kuroo hasn’t messaged him yet.

“Are you at school?” Bokuto asked him over text while he was asleep.

It’s about four PM when he wakes up, and Bokuto sent this at three-thirty.

“No, I skipped class today.” Kenma says, yawning.

“What?”

“I skipped class.” Kenma repeats.

“Jeez, Kuroo did the same thing, haha.” Bokuto replies, unsure of what to say. Both of his friends seem very depressed. That sort of thing isn’t unusual for Kuroo, but it’s difficult to navigate with someone he doesn’t know very well yet. “Except he’s hung over so he has a bit of a reason...”

“Why is he drinking on a weeknight?”

“I dunno, for fun?”

“That’s irresponsible.”

“So is skipping class.”

“Whatever. I didn’t message him yet... :(”

“Well you probably should get on that.”

Kenma tabs over to Kuroo’s messages, seeing their awkward conversation from last night. Kuroo read his message, but he didn’t reply. “So I guess we’re not going for dinner?” Kenma wills himself to send it, feeling bad for guilting him after it’s sent. It’s not entirely Kuroo’s fault. He knows this is definitely the _wrong_ thing to send, it sets a bad tone for the conversation.

“I guess not.”

Even though he knew his message was a bit snotty, Kenma wasn’t expecting that. His heart sinks. He goes over to Bokuto’s messages. “What the hell?”

“What?”

“Kuroo doesn’t want to go.”

“Well, you waited until 4 PM on the day of to ask about it...”

“Could you ask him about it for me?” Kenma asks, his heart is racing. His overconfidence about Kuroo wanting to go has completely screwed him over.

“How could I ask him about it? I’d blow my cover.” Bokuto says, “He doesn’t like people talking about him.”

Kenma’s lip wobbles. “I fucked this up...” He sends, feeling himself starting to cry. He whimpers and buries his face in the pillow.

“I guess so, but I think it takes two people to fuck up a date.” Bokuto replies, unsure of whether this is a comforting thing to say or not. “Why don’t _you_ ask him about it.”

Kenma shakes his head at the thought of that, and rolls onto his back, dropping his phone on the mattress beside himself. He figures he can forget about all this and he drags himself out of bed. He walks to the washroom to splash his face with some cold water, and he returns to his room, lying back down. For some reason his legs feel weak.

“Did you ask him?” Bokuto sends an hour later.

“Nope.” Kenma looks at the clock. It’s five. He figures if Kuroo wanted to talk he would’ve done it by now, and he settles in under the blankets. This all seems very juvenile to him, it’s not like they’re in a relationship. He pins these feelings onto his social anxiety and tries to ignore them in favour of playing a game on his phone. This works until Bokuto messages him again.

“I thought you two were like... a thing?”

“No, not really.” Kenma sends, feeling miffed. “I don’t think he really likes me, I think he feels bad for me.” He feels his face getting hot again and he realizes that this is _really_ starting to get to him, he can’t stop feeling sad when he thinks about it and he’s wallowing in self-pity.

“That’s not it.” Bokuto says, “Again, I’m not supposed to tell you this, but I think he really likes you.”

“Then what’s his reason for not talking to me?” Kenma asks, and his phone rings. “Hi.”

“Are you crying?” Bokuto asks immediately.

Kenma hears someone in the background again, but he quickly quiets down once Bokuto asks. “Stop it...” Kenma wants to throw his phone out the window now. The least Bokuto could do is let him retain what little dignity he had left at this point.

“Anyways, he says that he thinks you’re just tolerating him out of fear, or something crazy like that. Since you’re always so anxious and whatever.” Bokuto says, and Kenma can hear Kuroo on the other end of the line telling Bokuto to shut up.

Kenma feels his face get cold, and then he feels a little mad. Has Kuroo been prying into their conversation this entire time. He pauses for a second, and then asks “Am I on speakerphone?”

“No, of course not.” Bokuto laughs, “I guess Kuroo blew my cover. He didn’t know I was phoning you.”

“That’s so stupid.” Kenma feels his eye twitching.

“What’s stupid?” Bokuto asks, holding Kuroo back from snatching his phone, pushing him away by the face.

“That whole ‘tolerating’ thing, what’s he thinking? Is he dense?” Kenma almost feels like laughing, but it also makes him sad.

“Well, he said you acted super frightened when you went for breakfast...”

“That’s not his fault, that’s me. I don’t know how many different ways I could explain that to him.” Kenma says, feeling even more mad that the reason for all this is so silly. “That’s literally the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Put me on speaker.” He wants to march over to Bokuto’s house, but he doesn’t know how to get there.

“I mean, I guess it’s a _little_ weird, but I don’t think your explanation is very good either.” He ignores Kenma’s request to be put on speaker phone, instead focusing his efforts on getting away from Kuroo, who is glaring at him. Scuttling off the washroom, Bokuto considers what advice he could possibly give. He locks the door behind himself and soon he hears the doorknob jiggling. “Anyways, maybe ask if you should reschedule?”

“Maybe...” Kenma sniffles. “Sorry for bugging you about this.”

“You’re not bugging me.” Bokuto smiles weakly, seeing the shadow of Kuroo’s feet under the door. “You should call him, I’m a bit afraid to let him see my phone right now.”

“Okay.” He sniffles again. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

He hangs up and glances out the window. It’s too scary to call him. He lies down, feeling mad and sad at the same time. After a few minutes of sitting alone and panicking about how he’s going to redeem the situation, Kenma feels his phone vibrate. He checks it and sees that it’s not from Bokuto, as he was expecting, but it’s Kuroo.

“Why don’t you come hang out with us?” He offers.

Kenma rolls his eyes and gets out of bed, washing his face once more, and putting some proper clothing on. He looks in the mirror, and pats under his eyes a bit. They’re really puffy and he looks like crap. His hesitance to go has turned into utter dread now, and he decides against going. “I don’t really want to right now.” He sends, lying back down in bed in his day clothes.

“We could come pick you up.” Kuroo offers.

Kenma pulls his blanket up over his head and sighs. “Fine...” He rolls himself up in the blanket and sits up, mentally willing himself to leave the house.


End file.
